What Wuz I Saying?

Shopping Cart Cars

2010-11-08T11:31:00.002-04:00

I took Justin and Kathryn to Wegman's today for some grocery shopping. Justin was so excited to find a cart with a car attached to it. Almost as excited as I was to find one of the close "baby and child" parking spots open today! It makes me so mad to see able-bodied people with no young kids monopolize those spots! So, if you don't have a car seat or a booster, with kids in them, please wear your sneaks and walk the extra 20 feet! I do when I don't have little ones to carry!

Anyway, Justin usually drives the car, and I put Kathryn in the baby seat of the cart. Today she really, really wanted to drive the car with Justin. And there were even working seat belts in the one that Justin chose, so I let her give it a whirl! And except for some grabbing of items off the shelves, she did really well.

They steered their wheels, talked, laughed, and had an all around great time. I looked at the two of them, sitting there in a car together and smiled at how well they get along sometimes. In the next second I panicked, this was also a glimpse into the future. I saw the two of them in about 15 years, cruising in a real car together! Yikes! I just hope they are still getting along as well as they did today!

Soccer, Soccer

2010-11-07T11:29:00.000-04:00

Great, amazing, incredible soccer game today for Brian! He had a goal, and an assist, and played a beautiful game. They boys really worked hard and deserved their 4-1 victory! It's been a tough season with having moved up two flights since last year. But despite our losing record, the team never gives up! And sometimes it pays off! Great job boys!

Turning The Corner

2010-11-06T11:17:00.000-03:00

Things are getting so much better with Kathryn. Finally. She still gets really upset when we leave her, but now only fusses for a few minutes after we leave. Her horrid fifteen time a day all out temper tantrum screaming fests have finally subsided. For the most part.

She still is very strong willed, stubborn, and doesn't care much about what you tell her to do or say. She doesn't get upset when she gets in trouble, just stares you down. Which is not good because she does the same unwanted behaviors over, and over, and over. I have no idea how many times she has been in time-out for climbing on the table, eating Wii remotes, and grabbing things from others, yet she continues to think she has every right to do whatever she wants!

Ont he other hand, she is the most loving of my kids. She always has hugs, and kisses, and slobber to share. More slobber to share lately since she is teething. Kathryn is talking up a storm now - her favorite word by far is lunch. She uses it for anything to do with food. coming in at a close second is juice. The girl wants a full cup at all times, and wants nothing to do with water. So, tantrums ensue and she throws her cup and refuses to drink. I just pick up the cup, and say, "Oh, well, I guess you aren't thirsty." This does not go over too well with her, to say the least!

A Date!!!

2010-11-05T11:25:00.002-03:00

We have a date! For Finalization! Kathryn will be ours legally on November 19th! She will become an American citizen and also lose her Korean citizenship.

But, that is not the end of the paper work for me! She will need a COC (certificate of citizenship), a US birth certificate, a Social Security number, a passport, etc., etc., etc.!

And because we are finalizing before the end of the year, we can claim her on our taxes, and get our adoption tax credit too!

I'm Back!

2010-09-15T18:57:00.004-03:00

Wow! I cannot believe it has been almost a year since I have blogged! I have a ton of updatin to do, and will try to fill in the blanks, especially with Kathryn! Things are going well, just got busy and then my laptop had a virus that blocked everything to do with google, so I couldn't log into my blog or search anything on google! So, I'm back and cannot wait to get typing!

In the meantime, if you are interested in our journey to Korea, you can see photos and updates on our shutterfly website.

I-797C

2009-10-26T09:35:00.002-03:00

Well, it isn't our I-600 approval, but we did get form I-797C in the mail today. It is a Notice of Action and says "The above application has been received by our office and is in process." It then asks us to check the personal information included on the form, if all is correct (which it is), then we don't have to do anything!

I hope this is a good sign. It took a little over a month for us to get our Notice of Action with our I-600a! This time it was mailed on 10/15, received in Texas on 10/19, dated 10/21 and postmarked 10/22! To me that is quick!

So, our paper work should now be on its way to Newark, NJ. Hopefully we will get a speedy approval! And I also think that this Notice also means that all of our forms were completed correctly and we don't need to change anything or submit anything else. Fingers crossed!

Another Goal - for B-West!

2009-10-25T09:34:00.003-03:00

We got the chance to meet Brian Westbrook today at the Nova Care Center in Philly today! It was really exciting! He is so nice! B-West posed for a few photos with the boys - Justin wouldn't cooperate - and signed Brian's jersey and a picture for us! When Brian met Brian Westbrook, he shook his hand. Then Brian Westbrook asked what his name was, Brian replied, "Brian." Brian Westbrook smiled and told him that it was the best name there is!

As we were leaving Brian Westbrook told Brian to score a goal for him in his soccer game today!

And that is just what Brian did! He had a nice break-away and a pretty goal. He got past the defender and dribbled the ball to the outside and then shot on the opposite corner. Brian was so excited and could not wait to tell Brian Westbrook!

getting past the defender

making his break-away

G-O-A-L!!!!

Super Soccer Star!

2009-10-24T09:34:00.003-03:00

Sean had his last soccer game today. And what a game it was! The score ended in tie 4-4. But the exciting part was that Sean scored all 4 goals for his team!!! His face after the game was priceless. I was forced to fight back tears, it really warmed my heart to see you happy and proud he was!

He is so much more competitive than I thought he would be. He always seems to feel like he is in Brian's shadow when it comes to sports. It was so nice to see him shine this year. And even though he is aggressive and wants to score, he is still a nice player. He doesn't take the ball from his teammates and I can hear him encouraging them on the field when they have the ball. It was a great season! Sean cannot wait for next year!

Sean

Goal #1
Goal #2
Goal #3
Goal #4

128

2009-10-23T09:45:00.004-03:00

Licks that is. I don't know how he did without biting, but he counted 128 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop! He was so proud of himself and spent all morning just licking and counting! His Kindergarten teacher would be so happy with is counting skills!

NLCS Game 5 !!!

2009-10-22T09:42:00.004-03:00

Last night we got to see the Phillies win game 5 to clinch the National League title for the second year in a row! It was a really exciting game - with tons of hits and even seven home runs! I cannot believe the Phillies are headed back to the World Series!!!

Citizens Bank Park

Hamels
Wow!

Howard
Phillies win!!!

Kathryn is 7 months....

2009-10-21T16:12:00.001-03:00

Happy 7 Months Kathryn!

I cannot believe it! I really hope we get another update soon! It has been almost a month since we have heard anything about Kathryn. We got an initial Child Report with our referral information, and since Kathryn is at her second foster home right now, we should get a second Child Report. But like updated photos, nothing is guaranteed. I also have no idea if she has received her care package yet. Some people get a photo of their child with the care package, others do not. There are so many unknowns and so much waiting!

Little Luigi!

2009-10-20T09:41:00.002-03:00

Sean was trying on his Halloween costume today and Justin fell in love with his hat! He didn't want to take it off and kept saying "my Luigi!" I got out his costume and he wanted nothing to do with it. I thought at age two that I could really still pick out his costume. I really wanted him to be Super Grover! He loves Grover, so I thought it would be perfect.

Nope. Wants no parts of Super Grover. He wants to be Luigi! I finally talked him into being Mario, because I think two Luigis is pretty silly. He is excited about being Mario! But still likes to wear the Luigi hat too!

Paper Work Delivered!

2009-10-19T09:54:00.000-03:00

Whew! Just let out a huge sigh of relief! Good news! The I-600 paper work was delivered to the Lewisville Texas Facility this morning at 9:10 am! My faith is restored in the postal service. I was so afraid that the attempted delivery on a Saturday would make a huge mess! I really didn't need to add this to my worries, at least it was only for a few days!

Now, I just have to hope this new process is speedy and we get our approval within the next month! Oh, and we need EP (emigration permission) from Korea soon too! I hope to hear about that within the next month too. But for now, more waiting.

Why Now?

2009-10-18T16:13:00.003-03:00

They say to never expect a smooth ride with adoption paperwork. I don't know why I thought that I would be the exception to the rule. First it took our legals about two weeks longer than expected to get here.

Then USCUS changed the whole system for submitting the legals and I-600 form. Before Oct. 6th, everything got mailed directly to Newark, NJ. Now everyone has to first mail their paper work to a lock box facility in Texas. (I have no idea what a lock box facility is.)They look over the paper work, log it in, and then send it to Newark. I am so confused and not sure why this extra step is necessary! And why do I have to be among the first to try the new process?

I guess things could go really smoothly, but I have nothing to go by. I am like a guinea pig and my mind races with what to expect. And NJ had really fast processing times - most I-600 approvals came within 3-4 weeks! Some states were taking months! If my approval takes longer than a month I may just lose it!

So, I mailed the paper work to Texas on Wednesday. I sent it certified with return receipt so that I could track it and confirm that it got there. The man at the post office said it should arrive in 2-3 days. So, Friday night I checked on the tracking information - nothing listed except that it was accepted at our local post office!

I checked again today. And it said notice left after attempted delivery on Oct. 17th. Um, you would think that the postal system would know that USCIS isn't open on Saturdays. The notice tells them that they must pick it up at the post office within 14 days or it will be returned to me! What!?!?!?!!? I really hope they attempt to deliver it again. Apparently, I cannot get them try to deliver it again. Only the recipient can initiate redelivery! I am trying really hard to keep calm. But if it doesn't get delivered tomorrow......I just don't know what I will do!

Hungry Mommy

2009-10-17T15:28:00.001-03:00

I was getting Justin dressed this morning and he was giggling as I tickled his bare belly. I laid him down to change his diaper and kissed his belly. He giggled some more. I then pretended to eat his belly and he laughed even harder! I moved onto his toes and started to nibble them. This made him twist around in laughter! He caught his breath, looked right at me and said, "Please don't eat me Mommy!"

I had to laugh first and then reassured him that I would not eat him. Only tickles, no bites! It was so cute!

A Day of Firsts!

2009-10-16T23:51:00.005-03:00

#1 - Justin pooped on the potty today! We have sort of casually been introducing the idea of going on the potty. And it is pretty much still a fun game more than it is real potty training. Sometimes he is excited and other times he wants nothing to do with the potty. Today, I was changing him right before his nap and he asked to go potty.

He does this every once in a while, so I really didn't think too much of it. Then after a minute or two his eyes got really wide and he screamed, "Poop!" He stood up and I could not believe it! There was poop in the little frog potty! He was excited and kept yelling poop and pointing at it!

#2 - Justin peed on the potty tonight! He was again getting changed - for bed this time. As soon as his diaper was off he asked to go potty. I am starting to see a pattern emerging - stalling bed time by saying he wants to go potty. So, we got the potty and he sat. Then he got up, and then sat some more. After about 10 minutes I saw him looking down between his legs. He had that look and I just knew he had gone.

He jumped up and we looked in the potty! He was excited and kept yelling, "Yeah! Look at the water!" It was so cute and he was so proud! I took him to help me dump it in the big potty and he got to flush. He then walked back into the living room and peed on the floor. About 3 inches from the potty. Baby steps, baby steps...

#3 - Sean has a cold and a stuffy nose. This means that his nose runs a lot, and that he is extra whiny. The only thing that makes up for the extra crankiness is that he is also extra cuddly! Sean is our least cuddly kid. It is so hard to get hugs and kisses from him, but that also makes the ones you do get extra special! He wanted some tylenol before bed. I found some chewable tablets and he chased them with a sip of juice.

He then asked for something to help his runny nose. I could not find any liquid or chewable medicine. Only Brian's allergy medicine. They are really small pills that have to be swallowed. I told him this was not the chewable kind, but that he had to put it in his mouth, take a drink, and swallow. It only took him four tries and he did it! What a great kid!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day

2009-10-15T23:08:00.002-03:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. A day to remember losses. A day to quietly reflect. A day to be comforted by a united sisterhood. A day to remember that I am not alone in my pain. A day of empathy and understanding. A day to send caring thoughts out to those who have walked a similar path. A day of opening old wounds, so they can be further healed.

It has been almost three years since my last loss. We found out we had lost Justin's twin on December 7, 2006.(To read more about this click here.) This loss came after over two years of fertility treatments and 6 early miscarriages. Justin was born May 3, 2007. The time between December 7th and May 3rd was really hard for me. I was so afraid that I would lose him too.

Even after three years have passed, I still have days that hit me really hard. They don't happen as often now, but still my heart aches for the babies I never got to meet. The losses closed a door for me, but at the same time opened the window to adoption.

I am still affected daily by the pain of loss. Today, most of the anguish I feel has a positive effect on my life. I am grateful for each and every day. Grateful for the good and bad. Because to feel the bad, I have to have once felt the good. I was definitley changed by infertility and loss. Changed for the better.

LEGALS!!!

2009-10-14T18:12:00.004-03:00

Finally! I feel so much better! We got our "legals" from Korea today! I already had all the I-600 and other necessary forms copied and signed, so I only had to copy the legals and get to the post office! Only 2 hours after opening my mail, they were off to USCIS in Texas!

After October 6th, I-600 and I-600A forms have to be sent to a Texas USCIS office. Before this date we would have mailed the forms to Trenton, NJ - just like we did with our I-600A. Since it is only October 14th, I assume that I am in the first batch to go to the new route! I really hope this new format doesn't add time to our wait. I am very leery of a brand new process.

I do see the need to streamline the I-600 and I-600A processes. All the states varied so much in their processing times - NJ was pretty quick and had I-600 approvals out in about 3-4 weeks, some states were taking months and months. I just hope things don't average out the difference - if my approval takes longer than a month I will go nuts! Especially since we missed the cut off by about a week!

This is our final step in the visa process. It is the last bit of paper work that I have any control of - well, until after we have Kathryn home! Everything else needs to be done on the Korean side!

*For more information on the process or any of the paper work mentioned above, please click on the "What's Next" link below Kathryn's photos on the side bar*

Springdale Farm Trip!

2009-10-13T17:59:00.004-03:00

Sean had his class trip to pick pumpkins today! He was really disappointed by the size of the pumpkins, I think he pictured himself getting a pumpkin so big that he could barely carry it! He did search for the biggest pumpkin for a long time! Sean was one of the last kids to decide on the perfect one!

We took a hay ride around the farm and learned a lot about fruits and veggies. I don't know how much the kids listened to all of it, but I learned a lot! I never knew there were so many varieties of corn or egg plant! I had never seen broccoli growing or knew that it will grow long after the first frost! All the kids had a great time - and apple cider donuts were enjoyed by all after the hay ride!

pumpkin flower

starting to grow
getting bigger
Sean still searching for a bigger one on the hayride!

Fire Prevention Week

2009-10-12T17:59:00.003-03:00

The boys brought home plastic fire hats from school for fire prevention week. Justin loves the hats and wears them all the time. Tonight he was a comedian, and kept pulling the hat down over his eyes! He finally flashed me a cute smile when he was tired of goofing around!

Ravens Game!

2009-10-11T14:27:00.003-03:00

Well, the Ravens had a tough loss today, but we still had a great time at the game! The weather was ideal - upper '60s and sunny with a light breeze! After the game, the boys got autographs from Ray Lewis, Willis McGahee, Ed Reed, and of course Joe Flacco! They also saw Haloti Ngata, L.J. Smith, and Kelley Washington - but didn't get autographs.

On the way home, we stopped at a diner with Joe and the rest of his family and friends that went to the game. It was a quiet little diner and Joe only got asked for autographs a few times! And he stopped for a few photos on the way out! I don't think the boys are aware at all that they just got to eat dinner with an NFL starting quarterback! They think it is neat, but to them he is still just their really, really tall cousin!

Still No Legals!

2009-10-10T14:27:00.002-03:00

I was really bummed to say the least today. The mail finally came, and again no legals this week. If you are new to reading, legals are the paper work we are waiting for from Korea. We need this to send in our final paper work on the US side to the Immigration office in Philadelphia. After we mail in our application, it takes about a month for approval. So, the longer it takes to get the legals, the longer it will take for approval. Which in turn, can mean a longer time until we travel.

Most people get their legals in about 2-5 weeks. Monday will be 6 weeks since referral for us. I was so sure they would have come this week. If they don't come next week, I will go crazy!!! And make a few phone calls!

The Moon

2009-10-09T14:27:00.002-03:00

Brian had his first project due today. They are studying the solar system in science class. He chose to do his project on the the moon! It was really interesting to learn the facts along with him. I had no idea that no one has set foot on the moon since 1972 - the last person was Eugene Cernan! I had never even heard of him before!

Brian did a really great job and had a clear vision from day 1. I was a little skeptical about the glitter he wanted to put on the moon, but it turned out really great! We went to a craft store and he picked out the scrap booking paper - I think he made great choices!

Sean wanted in on the action too, so he got to use the scraps to make his own space scene!

Dog vs Horse

2009-10-08T19:07:00.001-03:00

Brian Sr. got a kick out of teasing the kids and the dog with this horse! Justin thought it was so funny at first but soon grew tired of being chased by a horse on a stick! Roc, however, lasted a bit longer and soon decided to teach the horse a lesson! He was playing and even though it looks as if he is trying to take the horse's head off, he was being gentle!

Unwed Mothers in Korea

2009-10-07T11:07:00.003-03:00

This article was in the NY Times today. It is very interesting, and sad. Adoption is so bittersweet. In order for their to be a gain, there has to be a loss. There cannot be joy without sadness. I am sad for the the loss that the birth parents have to endure, and happy for our family. I am sad that Kathryn will be losing every thing she has known when she arrives here, but happy for all that she will gain with us. Her birth parents are heart broken, but also (I hope) hopeful for her future. I cannot imagine the sacrifice in wanting more for your child than you are able to give.

The article is really good. I get a lot of questions about Korea and unwed mothers and adoption and this story explains it all. I am happy that steps are being taken to help unwed mothers, even if they are small steps. There is a rumor that Korea is trying to put steps into place to end foreign adoption in the next few years. If this is to be achieved, I guess there is almost no choice but to start implementing some sort of incentives and support programs for unwed and single mothers.

Funny Faces at Dinner

2009-10-06T19:24:00.004-03:00

The boys grew tired of waiting for Justin to finish his dinner, so they got a bit silly! The boys ate quickly because spaghetti and meatballs is their favorite! Of course, it was not long before Justin had to join in!

Sean

Brian

Justin trying to finish quickly
Justin's first face

The winner!

Kathryn's Carseat!

2009-10-05T18:19:00.004-03:00

Woo-hoo! Kathryn's car seat has arrived! I found the one that I really liked and my Mom said she would buy it for me! I haven't seen this fabric in stores and found a website that had it on sale really cheap - with free shipping! I wanted something that said girl, but nothing too frilly. It also had to be dark in color because the boys will constantly be walking by it to get into the back of the van! Now we just need a baby!

Tough Game

2009-10-04T18:19:00.002-03:00

Brian's soccer team played so well today! They are undefeated and were also playing another team that was also undefeated! The other team had not even had a goal scored on them in the first three games! It was a really closely matched game and Brian's team ended up winning 3-1! It was a really exciting game to watch - kind of nerve racking for the parents though!

Fair and Festival!

2009-10-03T18:18:00.001-03:00

Today was the boys' school fair. They always have a great time. It is nice that they are old enough to run around the school yard with their friends. They of course got a lot of silly prizes that will soon be in the circular file! Shhh, don't tell them! This year was really fun for Justin. It is the first year he was really able to play some of the games. His favorite was searching for candy in a huge pile of hay!

After the fair, we went to the University of Pennsylvania for a Korean Festival. Friday was Chuseok, with is the Korean Thanksgiving. They make a big traditional meal, visit family, and give thanks for their family and food. The boys were a bit shy when we got there, but quickly warmed up. It was sponsored by Korea students there. They had a few craft stations for the kids - coloring pages, making hacky sacks, and making kites. They had Korea food, which we arrived too late for and even Korean music playing.

The best part was that I got to talk with some of the students about Korea. They have all been there and some were even born there! They taught me how to pronounce Yi Seul - which I was doing all wrong, and still find it hard to say! The "s" sound in Seul is really hard - it is said which teeth together and sounds nothing like anything in the English language.

They made a list of the best things to see in Seoul too! They were so nice and helpful. They started their club to help bring Korean culture to Korean adoptees. They are even doing a mentor program for the older kids. I have a few e-mail addresses and they said they would help and answer any questions I had about culture or language or Korea! I am so excited to have that connection and hope they continue the program in the future for when Kathryn is older!

Brian's Birthday

2009-10-02T18:17:00.002-03:00

Happy Birthday Brian Sr! It is his last without a daughter in the house! Boy will things change when we add some pink - and another kid!

Passports!

2009-10-01T22:39:00.002-03:00

I was really surprised today when our passports arrived in the mail! It was really quick, we just applied on September 16th! I wasn't expecting them for another few weeks! Okay, so we are ready to travel! I wish the rest of the paper work would go this quickly!

And we decided to bring Brian Jr. with us to Korea. He has been asking us all the time and is really wants to go. I think he is old enough to get something out of it, and also old enough not to melt down in a foreign airport! We took him to get his passport tonight. He is very excited to be getting a passport!

Oh, and when Brian was born, our county only gave out the "short form" birth certificates. It only has his name, birth date and hospital on it. In order to get a passport, he needed the "long form" one. It has more info included - but the part we needed was the parent's names. So, we took a fun trip into the city.

While I was there, I also got a new one for Sean and I. Justin has the long form one since he was born after 2005! I figured while I was there I might as well get them all done! Brian Sr. got a new one a few months ago because he lost his! Now the whole family has the "long form" and we are ready for anything!

Baby Sister

2009-09-30T22:35:00.000-03:00

I should know to never underestimate a two-year old! In the car tonight, Justin was talking to himself. All of a sudden he started saying, "Baby sister, baby sister. Kathryn. Yea!" He said those same words over and over, sometimes changing the order. And in between the talking he would scrunch his face up into this cute cheesy smile! It was so adorable and just warmed my heart! The best part was that he says Kaf-ryn for Kathryn!

I hope he is this excited when she comes home!

New Photos!!!!!!!!

2009-09-29T15:05:00.003-03:00

I was not expecting these at all today! I was so mad that they were in my inbox for over two hours before I checked mail! But what a wonderful surprise! Kathryn is getting so big and has changed so much! It is so nice to see what she looks like now! These photos were taken on September 10th at her well baby visit!

It is wonderful to see how happy and healthy she looks. I cannot wait to kiss those chubby cheeks! Good thing I didn't buy any hair bows yet - I was expecting her to have a lot of hair! But her fuzzy hair is adorable - and a lot less work! The last one is my favorite!

Baby Boy Clothes

2009-09-28T12:06:00.003-03:00

Almost all of the boys' baby clothes have been given away. I have held onto a few things and I am having a really hard time parting with them. All three boys have worn most of these outfits and some bring back a special memories. I have no idea what I am going to do with them. So, I decided to take pictures. I know years down the road the material will yellow and the elastic will crumble.

I did save all the boys outfits that they came home from the hospital in. I might just narrow down the pile a bit and keep a few more. Or maybe I will keep it all! Then again I would rather someone got use out of them instead of just packing them in the attic. I guess I don't have to decide today!

Soccer or Rugby?

2009-09-27T12:06:00.003-03:00

I am not going to mention the exact name of the town, in case someone is reading, but Brian had a rough soccer game today. The kids from the other team were pushing and hip checking. They were grabbing shirts and throwing kids to the ground! I was beyond outraged! And the referee really didn't do much to stop it. So, the parents on our team got, understandably, a bit vocal and the other team's parents got angry. Our team was yelling to watch how rough the kids were and the other team was calling us "stupid" and "ignorant".

I know neither side was completely right. But I did not hear our team's parents doing any name calling. As a parent, it is hard to keep your mouth shut when kids on your team are falling to the ground left and right. And the sad part is by the 2nd half, our kids were playing a bit rough too. They almost had no choice. It was a close game and I was going crazy the whole game! In the end we won 7-5, but it was back and forth the whole game!

Maybe the loss will teach them that you don't have to beat up the other team to win a game. Then again, maybe not. Especially if the parents and coaches see no problem with it! Ugg!

Rock Star Baby!

2009-09-26T12:06:00.003-03:00

When no one was looking, Justin decided to try his hand at a little Rock Band Wii! He usually just pretends on the drums, but today he got a new song started and played all by himself! He grabbed the microphone and was singing his little heart out! I have no idea what he was saying, but he did pretty well for not knowing the words and not knowing how to read! I cannot believe he made it all the way through the song without failing. After singing, he tried the guitar a bit! That's my boy!

Super Size Him

2009-09-25T12:06:00.002-03:00

Sean decided to make himself some cereal this morning. I thought he was really hungry because he chose a huge bowl and spoon for himself! When I asked him about it, he said, "All the other bowls and spoons were in the dishwasher!" Well, I guess that solves the mystery. He did have a lot of fun with his super sized breakfast!

Kathryn Update!!!!

2009-09-24T11:54:00.003-03:00

I was so surprised this afternoon to find an e-mail with the title Medical Update in my inbox! Kathryn had her well baby check on September 10th! I thought it was going to be this week, and I still had about two weeks left to wait for the report!

Kathryn is doing very well! She weighs 17.6 lbs and is 26.2 in. long! She is getting so big! The report says she is "cute & fine", which I have recently found is the comment of choice for the doctors in Korea!

She is taking 170 ml (almost 6 oz) of formula every three hours - I really hope that is only daytime hours! It does not say she is eating any solid foods, but my boys didn't get solids until 6 months either!

The report says she is lifting her head from a prone position, can push up on her arms from her belly and support a moderate amount of weight on her legs. Her head doesn't lag when pulled to a sitting position from her back and it says she is beginning to creep.

She can track objects well, put her hands together in front of her, and reach for and grasp objects. It says she smiles responsively to others, knows faces, and knows her own hand. She coos and laughs and is even babbling umma and appa (mom and dad in Korean).

It is so wonderful to have and update and to read that she is doing so well. That just warms my heart! But it also makes me sad that she is growing up without me. I cannot wait to meet her!

Sports Craziness

2009-09-23T14:24:00.002-03:00

I can now write this because I have had a few days to calm down. Sean had a soccer game on Monday night and event though they won and he scored the winning goal, it was a horrible game. There was a kid on our team and two on the other team that took rough to a whole new level. Soccer became a full contact sport.

They were pushing and tripping, and falling on the ball on purpose to steal it away from another player. Every time Sean, or any of the other kids, got the ball some one took them out. And if that were not bad enough, neither their parents nor their coaches did anything about it!

If the kid pusheds a bit once or twice, that is one thing. They are only in Kindergarten. I realize that soccer is more like a swarm of bees at this age, but it should at least be civil. And when the game crosses the line from civil to barbaric, then someone should do something.

If my kids ever act like that at any time, sports field or playground, you can bet they will be led off the field by their ears. Can't you just picture it, me with a forced smile and my kid screaming as I drag him through the parking lot!

Yes, that is what will get people to talk. Wow. A mom disciplining her child. What a concept! Can you believe she is taking him out of the game. And, gasp, punishing him for inappropriate behavior!

Kids will be kids, I understand that. And there is a lot of falling down when kids start to play soccer. But don't chalk a kid's rough behavior up to excitement or competitiveness. When they are purposely trying to hurt other kids, then that it when the line needs to be drawn.

Luckily, this time no one got hurt. And with the commotion of the game ending, I did not get to talk with the coach. But I will at the next practice. Kids should be allowed to play sports in a town setting without getting beat up. Right?

Favorite Adoption Quote

2009-09-22T11:22:00.001-03:00

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
--- Unknown

Three Weeks and Six Months

2009-09-21T11:04:00.002-03:00

Today we have been waiting for Kathryn to come home for 3 weeks! I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed! I have gotten some things done, but there is still so much to do!

And today Kathryn is 6 months old....it is so hard to know that each day she is getting bigger and learning new things, without us. I know she is loved and well cared for with her foster family, but I don't want to miss any more of her milestones than I have to!

Hurry up legals, so we can get the ball rolling here and be one step closer to having Kathryn home! Happy half-birthday baby girl!

Three Boys in a Room!

2009-09-20T23:58:00.001-03:00

I cannot believe that I forgot to blog about this! Last Friday we moved Justin into the boys' room. We decided to make the change on a weekend so that if things went badly wrong, there would be no school the next day. Good thing we did this.

Well, the first night was, um, interesting to say the least. Brian and Sean thought it would be fun to throw stuffed animals at Justin. And of course, Justin had to return the favor. It only took about ten minutes for complete pandemonium to set in; from outside the door you would swear there were a bunch of monkeys gone wild in the room!

I stood outside and listened for a few minutes and then went into the room. Brian and Sean were out of their beds and running around the room. They froze and looked at me through frightened eyes. They both quickly scrambled to their beds. Justin, however, continued to laugh and jump in his crib. I guess I have not instilled the fear into him yet!

I got the boys all tucked in again and started down the steps. I hit step number three, from the top, and the wild animals were back. This time the older boys remained in their beds, but things were flying all around the room! It took about 10 times of Brian and I going into the room before they were quiet. The good news was that it was quiet for the rest of the night!

Then next night was a bit better, but not much. Each night we saw a bit of improvement. This Friday and Saturday were really great. Tonight was a different matter. We were back to step one. The monkeys were visiting again. I guess I left a window open?

Justin is definitely the instigator. We hear him yelling to Brian and Sean. He yells, "Wake up boys!" and "Hi boys!" He also asks them to get him out of the crib! I am pretty sure they would never do this, because they know the Wii and their Pokemon cards would all be on e-bay!

Part of the problem is that the latches on the crib are broken. My brother forgot to mention this when he said we could borrow the crib. So, when Justin holds onto the rail and jumps up and down, the upper part of the front side folds down. Wait, folds down sounds like he is opening a box. I should say, crashes open with such force that the windows crack. Yep, that is more like it.

The side crashed a few times tonight. I tried to tie the side up with socks - too stretchy. I tried to fix the latch - still broken. I ordered new ones - not here yet. Nothing seemed to be helping!

After Brian went up to put the side up for the third time, I told him to leave it down. Only about five minutes passed before we heard an even louder noise. A huge thud on the floor. It could only be one thing. Justin tried to climb out with the side down! Either that or the monkeys invited an elephant over.

Brian and Sean were in their beds scared. We picked up Justin and he was okay, just a little shaken, but not stirred! Then the light bulb above my head finally flickered on. I think I have one of those newer energy saving light bulbs - not instantly bright, but eventually it out-shines the rest!

The solution was in front of me all the time! Turn the crib around! I put the side that folds down against the wall! So, even if he jumps, has monkeys in the bed with him, and the latch releases, the wall will hold!At least I think it will.....

For Fun

2009-09-19T01:07:00.000-03:00

Since I was thinking about Kathryn's Korean name yesterday, I thought I would look up how to write the boys' names in Korean!

브라이언 - Brian

션 - Sean

져스틴 - Justin

And here are some other family words:

오빠 - older brother from a girl, oppa

동생 - younger sister, dong-saeng

엄마 - Mom, um-ma

아빠 - Dad, ah-pah

할머니 - Grandmother, hal-muh-nee

할아버지 - Grandfather, hal-ah-puh-jee

개 - dog, gae

이슬

2009-09-18T23:58:00.008-03:00

이슬 is Kathryn's Korean name. Is is romanized as Yi Seul. Most families get the meaning of their child's name in their referral paper work. We did not. So after some searching I learned that it means dew. According to Webster's dictionary - dew is "moisture condensed upon the surfaces of cool bodies, especially at night." But the second meaning is "something resembling dew in purity, freshness or power to refresh."

So, I guess her name means dew, but more like something fresh and pure, not a drop of water. I think that it is really beautiful. And even more so because Yi was from her birth father and Seul from he birth mother!

As far as I know, Yi is pronounced like Yee, and Seul is pronounced like Sool, you pronounce the "oo" like in book. I found out that many families who travel take video of the foster family saying their child's Korean name. I thought that was a wonderful idea!

To simplify things we have decided to put the two parts of her name together as one, so YiSeul. I think this will make things less confusing for her later in life. Kathryn Julia YiSeul has a nice ring to it!

Offical Stalker

2009-09-17T23:40:00.002-03:00

It's happened. I am an official mail box stalker. I also jump to the window when I hear the FedEx truck on our street. I am so anxious to get Kathryn's legals! It is what we are waiting for to get the ball rolling here on the US side. I have the I-600 forms filled out and just need the legals to send it to USCIS. Our agency says they can arrive anywhere from 2 weeks after referral up to about 2 months! I think the average is about 4-5 weeks though. So, hopefully they will be here in the next week or two!

After that we will wait for the approval of our I-600 and I will again be stalking the mailbox. This approval should also take about 4 weeks, but sometimes it comes faster!

(if all this paper work mumbo jumbo is confusing you - go back to this post for further explanation.)

Care Package to Korea!

2009-09-16T23:16:00.000-03:00

Well, all the searching paid off! I did find a soft doll with brown eyes and brown hair! So, I bought two! It was included in a care package I sent to Kathryn in Korea. I also included disposable cameras, a disposable video camera, and outfit, pjs, a blanket, a soft picture book with pictures of us in it, a few toys and a letter thanking the foster family. I also included a box of tea bags for the foster family too. The package will arrive Monday morning! Kathryn has a well visit some time the end of next week, so I really hope they can get it to her by then!

I am kicking myself for not taking a picture of the contents of the box before I sent it! I may have to go to the store and take a picture of the outfits! A lot of people get pictures of the baby with the care package and sometimes wearing the clothes! I cannot wait to see how she is doing and to get an updated height and weight for her! Hopefully we will get a photo too! I was told we will get the well baby report 1-2 weeks after her visit. I cannot wait!

Blue Eyed Blonds

2009-09-15T23:18:00.000-03:00

I have to say I am surprised, outraged, and speechless all at the same time! I have been searching and searching for a soft doll for Kathryn. You probably think I am nuts because there are soft dolls all over the place. And you are right. The problem is that 95% of the ones that I have found have blond hair and blue eyes! Does 95% of the population really have blond hair and blue eyes? Darker hair and eyes are dominant, so I would think more people in the world would have darker eyes and hair.

My daughter is Korean - I cannot send her a blond haired, blue eyed doll! But it still really bugs me that they don't make more soft baby dolls with different eye and hair colors! Not to mention skin tone, I only found very fair skinned dolls, even with brown hair and brown eyes!

I guess this is just one more example of what I small world I have been living in. I have blue eyes and light brown hair (blond with the highlights to cover the grey!). When I was a kid, I picked out the dolls with blue eyes and blond hair. I never really thought about it before! Kathryn is teaching me things already, and she doesn't even know it!

More Soccer!

2009-09-14T22:41:00.000-03:00

My last three posts have been about soccer. Well, the season in upon our family! I probably wouldn't have mentioned it today, but we had exciting news tonight! Sean scored his first ever goal in his soccer game! I have never seen him so proud and excited! He had a great game and I was surprised at his aggressiveness! He was also very competitive and was cheering on his teammates, encouraging them to pass the ball to him, and hurrying them back on the field after half time!

Now that Brian is three seasons removed from clinic soccer, I have to say I forgot how much fun it is. Brian's games are stressful for me, Sean's are now pure entertainment! It is a nice contrast!

Brian's First Soccer Game

2009-09-13T10:50:00.000-03:00

Again more wet fields. Good thing I have tons of spray-n-wash at home! Brian's team played really well! They won 6-1. Brian didn't have any goals, but did have some great passes and a few assists! The team looks great and there is such a huge improvement from last year. It is like the concept of the game is really sinking in. There is more passing and communication. They are actually setting up plays - and then executing them! Go Super Boots!

Sean's First Soccer Game!

2009-09-12T10:44:00.000-03:00

The rain finally stopped and Sean was happy to see the sun this morning! He was excited and nervous about his first soccer game! At his age, they practice for about 30 minutes and then play a game for another 30 minutes. Well, the practice was fine, but when it came time for the game, no one showed up. I guess they were scared off by the wet fields. And when I say wet, I mean swamp like.

All the kids were soaked. They were covered in mud and slime. Sean's cleats are still wet inside, even after being out in the sun for two days! Hopeful the sun will stay around and dry up the fields a bit for Monday's game!

Brian also had a scrimmage this afternoon. His team looked great and they tied 2-2. Brian had the first goal and was very excited!

Time to say goodbye to my life for a bit - Monday - Sean game, Tuesday - Brian practice, Friday - Brian practice, Saturday - Sean game, Sunday - Brian game! So, we have Wednesday and Thursday until about Thanksgiving!

No Words Needed....

2009-09-11T11:11:00.002-03:00

Echo Location

2009-09-10T10:55:00.000-03:00

I know I have said it before, but Sean never ceases to amaze. He was playing Mario Cart on Wii. There was a race where there were volcanoes all around in the background. He said, "Mom, hurry! Look at that volcano. It is about to erupt, but it also looks like it is using echo location to find something!" I was in the kitchen and all that came to mind was, huh?

So, I walked into the living room to see the volcano. And there it was. A huge volcano with rings of smoke puffing out from the top of it. Smoke can mean a volcano is about to erupt, and the rings did look like a simulation of echo location that you might see on TV or in a book! I should have know to trust that he knows what he is talking about by now!

Man this kid is smart!

Nesting in Overdrive

2009-09-09T23:13:00.002-03:00

I have been cleaning and sorting like a crazy animal. You know you are seriously nesting when you are compelled to pull out the refrigerator and clean the dust from underneath it. And raisins, although they might have started their life cycle as grapes in our kitchen. I was actually surprised that I didn't find anything more interesting under there!

Then the boys helped me to move the couch and other living room furniture to vacuum and dust behind them. I cleaned the baseboards and some of the kitchen cabinets. I dusted the windowsills and even took the cushions off the couch and chair to vacuum under them. Under the cushions I found a ton of cracker and pretzel type crumbs, a spoon, two match box cars, a Lego guy, and an extra Lego guy's head, a few Cheerios, a paperclip and a pencil. Not too bad!

After the living room and kitchen were in order, I moved onto the boys' room. Brian Sr. and his friend got a crib and dresser from my brother on Monday. I have not put the crib together, because I wanted to clean the room, move some furniture around, and also shampoo the carpet. I did all that yesterday and still have not put the furniture together yet. (Um, did not accomplish very much today due to the fact that a certain Rock Band game came out today for Wii)

So, tomorrow will bring a lot of progress for the boys' room. I want to assemble the crib and hope to transition Justin into there this weekend. I ask him if he is excited to sleep with his brothers and he says no. So we will see! I did get him Lightning McQueen sheets, so maybe that will win him over. The crib converts to a toddler bed, so we have a few years until we need to think about rearranging things again!

After that it is onto Kathryn's room. I am so excited to really decorate a nursery. We didn't know the sexes of the boys, so all of them had a basic yellow and blue room. It had a starts and moons theme with some Winnie the Pooh thrown in. I have to finish organizing the clothes I have for her too. I have been given stuff up to size 6 and really need to get that stuff out of the room and into bins!

I have a lot of work ahead of me in the next few months, and I am so excited about it! It will definitely make the time go quicker when I am busy! I have actually had moments where I think about getting on a plane to Korea right now. I know I cannot, but just for a second it seems like such a great idea. To see her face for real. To hold her in my arms. To tell her how much she is loved. Sigh.....

First Full Day

2009-09-08T22:01:00.003-03:00

Today was rough. Kids were grumpy and tired. The boys did not want to get up this morning. I think the newness of school was over on that first day. There is nothing exciting and fun about the second day of school. The reality of waking up early for another 179 day had set in.

When they finally got out of bed at about 7:50, they could not make up their minds about what they wanted for breakfast. Cereal, no. Toast, no. Pancakes, no. Waffles, no. PopTarts, no. I was about to lose it. I tried to lighten the mood and asked them if they wanted steak or potato salad. They stared at me through sleepy eyes as if I had grown an extra head. After threatening to take away Legos and Pokemon cards, they decide upon cereal and waffles.

They did get dressed without incident, although I was expecting a meltdown from Brian. Luckily, he was okay with the Phillies t-shirt! Sean wore is Empire Strikes Back t-shirt, I knew that one would be a hit!

When it was time to leave, they were both whiny again! It was a beautiful fall morning, so I thought that we should walk. We are talking a matter of blocks, maybe a ten minute walk. It was far from asking them to trudge through eight inches of snow. Uphill. Barefoot! Brian drug his feet the whole way to school and he was close to being late. I hope he learned his lesson!

Sean was happy to walk home to play. He is in afternoon Kindergarten and had about 4 hours until school. When it was time for us to walk him, he was pleasant and seemed happy to be going to school. He asked what I thought he would do to day and wondered which toys they would be allowed to play with.

All was well getting Sean to school and playing on the playground after school. The big problems started when Brian was told to do his home work before soccer practice. You would have thought I asked him to stab 456 needles into his arm. He threw himself on the floor and whined and cried! I could not believe him! He hasn't acted like this in so long.

After many more meltdowns, he finally finished his home work just in time to get to soccer practice. I really home tomorrow brings better behavior, I cannot take many more days like this! I know the first full day of school was stressful and they both have to adjust to a more strict routine. Wish us luck!

Facebook

2009-09-07T21:03:00.000-03:00

Just read a post from a fellow blogger about facebook. She has many, many pet peeves about the site. One of which is those goofy quizzes. I have to admit that I like the quizzes, yet I really cannot explain why. I have no idea why I need to know which '80's cartoon character I am most like. I don't why I feel compelled to get all the questions right about sitcoms of the '90's. Or to see how fast I can match NFL helmets to their team city. And there is always which muppet are you, or what is your personality type. I guess it is just a goofy way to pass the time? Or my competitive nature taking over to try to get a high score? Who knows!

Super Justin!

2009-09-06T20:10:00.000-03:00

Take a good look at this boy's face. You just may see it on TV one day. As a stunt man, or maybe in the X-games? Justin has no fear and no sense. A dangerous combination. I guess it doesn't help that his Mom said, "Wait. Let me the camera. Do it again!" Make sure you click on the photos to see the look on his face! Priceless!

*no toddlers were harmed during the shooting of these pictures.*

Last Bit of Paper Work!

2009-09-06T20:09:00.002-03:00

Today, the rest of the documents from our referral came by regular mail. In the envelope were three copies of the Placement Agreement - all to be signed and notarized. One copy for us, one to be sent to Oregon, and one to the branch office in NJ. After these forms, all that will be left is the Statement of Adoption which cannot be signed and dated until after September 10th. This is because this form cannot be signed until the child has been in Holt's care for 5 months plus 7 days.

Since the Placement Agreement will not hold anything up, I will probably just wait until after the 10th, to send them all together on Friday. So, far the paper work has been pretty easy!

What Next?

2009-09-04T00:57:00.002-03:00

So, what are the next steps needed to get Kathryn home?

First we have to sign and notarize the referral acceptance papers. Some will be e-mailed to us and others will be sent by regular mail. Then we have to send then to our agency, Holt, in Oregon to be approved. If all is well, they will then forward the necessary forms to our agency, Holt, in Korea. After Korea receives that paperwork, then they start things moving on their side. Holt in Korea will begin to get the Korean government's permission for Kathryn to leave Korea to be adopted by a family overseas.

To get this permission, Holt applies to the Ministry of Health and Welfare for an Emigration Permit (EP). Holt sends them the acceptance papers, a summary of our home study, and Kathryn's family register (which is explained below), and a document signed by the birth mother - the Korean government wants proof that there is no one in Korea to parent the child.

Our agency may take several week to several months to apply for EP. This is because the Korean government limits the number of EPs per year per agency and it limits the amount that each agency can apply for at one time. The Ministry of Healthy and Welfare meets about the EPs. They can approve (usually happens), deny (never heard of), or ask for more information (very rare). The whole process takes time and is not quick or automatic.

After Holt gets the EP, they then apply to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for her Travel Certificate (TC). The TC is like a passport, but it is only good one way and expires when the child arrives in the U.S. The time from EP to TC is usually about 3-5 days.

On the US side, we first need to get Kathryn's legals. This should take anywhere from 2-5 weeks after Korea gets our papers. Legals consist of four parts. One is the Affirmations and Oath Certificate. This certifies that the other legal documents and translations are correct. There is also the Certificate of the Guardian. This establishes Holt Korea as the legal guardian of Kathryn.

Then there is the Family Register. This documents Kathryn's lineage in Korea. Since she is an orphan, she will be the Family Chief. If she was not an orphan, it would document her family lineage, but since she is classified as an orphan, it will have no identifying information about her birth parents or their families. Her Family Register will just be proof that she was born. The last thing is the Statement of Guardianship. In this document Kathryn's legal guardian, Holt-Korea, agrees to her emigration to the U.S.

Once our agency receives Kathryn's legals from Korea, they will forward them to us. Then we have to submit them along with an I-600 form to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). The I-600 is the Orphan Visa petition. Last July, we submitted the I-600a forms. This was for advance processing of the visa petition. We received approval in October, the I-171H. The I-171H basically cleared our side of the petition, so now we just have to have Kathryn's side approved. This step makes the I-600 approval faster.

Again, more waiting. When our I-600 has been approved we will receive a letter. This approval document is the I-171. It basically states that we are allowed to bring her into the U.S. Once your I600 is approved USCIS will also send everything to the National Visa Center (NVC) where it is logged in (about 1 week later), approved, and then logged out (2-3 days after log in). After it's logged in they will give us a case number so that we can follow the paperwork trail.

Once the paper work is logged out, everything is forwarded to the Embassy in Seoul. When the Embassy receives this, they then send packet 3 (P3) out to Holt in Korea. Holt completes the paperwork in the packet and then sends it back to the Embassy in Seoul. After Holt has the TC and Kathryn has had a a physical by Holt and also by one appointed by the US Embassy, Holt Korea can apply for Kathryn's visa. The visa physical is good for 6 months and can happen any time after referral. With our agency, it usually happens about two months after referral.

The Visa Interview (VI) is not really an interview, just an appointment to drop off Kathryn's visa paperwork. The agency sends the TC, the visa physical information, and the actual visa application. The Embassy approves us to adopt based on the I-864 (Affidavit of Support), and out tax forms, and they also check with USCIS to make sure the visa was approved on the US side. Getting the visa usually takes about 1-5 days. The next thing to come will be the travel call!

Confused yet? This process can take anywhere from 3-6 months. I have seen travel in about 2 1/2 months a few times! This would be the best case scenario. I don't want to have my expectations set too high, so I am shooting for her to be home before Christmas!

First Day of School 2009!

2009-09-03T20:16:00.002-03:00

The boys were not very excited this morning. They really drug their feet in getting ready! I, on the other hand, was so happy! They really need to get back to school and into a structured routine. Brian is now in 3rd grade! How that happened I have no idea!!!! Sean is in Kindergarten and had an easy orientation day where the parents go into the classroom too. I know Justin is really going to miss them!

Paper work Approved!

2009-09-03T16:33:00.003-03:00

Of course, I tracked my acceptance package to Oregon. It was signed for at 9:59 am! So glad that it made it!

Then, I got an e-mail from our agency this afternoon at 4:16 pm. This is what it said, "Thought you would like to know we received your acceptance papers, and all is well, they will be on their way to Korea in tomorrow's Fed-X. Enjoy your holiday week-end. Warm regards."

You bet I will enjoy this weekend knowing that our acceptance paperwork is making its way to Korea! I am so excited and so happy that everything was in order. If there had been any mistakes, we would have had to wait until next Friday for the batch to go to Korea! Woo-hoo!

Also, if you are close to getting a referral - go now and buy some extra paper and extra ink cartridges for your printer! I cannot believe how much paper I used!

I am still waiting on some of the stuff that comes regular mail...hopefully in the next few days!

Paper Work!!!

2009-09-02T16:03:00.002-03:00

I decided to take a photo of the acceptance paper work progress! I had the whole dining room table full! I had pens and pencils. Folders and notebooks. My Korea Guidebook from Holt, and the Holt website for reference! It was nuts! It took me a long time, but I got it all done in one afternoon!

I had to first download and print out forms from USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). These were the Affidavit of Support Forms (I-864 and the I-864a) - two copies of each signed, with a copy of last years tax return with W2s and if needed pay check stubs. These show we are financially able to support Kathryn. And the Affidavit Concerning Exemption for Immigration - two copies, signed and notarized. This gives Kathryn exemption from the immunizations usually required for immigration because she is a baby.

Then Holt e-mailed me The Statement of Adoption - 4 copies signed and notarized, the Overseas Travel Form (1 copy notarized), which releases Holt from all liability during our travel. The Travel Option Form (3 copies signed, 2 back to Holt in Oregon, and 1 copy to our NJ branch office), this form lets them know if we are traveling or escorting. Then we had our invoice for payment, which is pretty self explanatory. We also got the Child Information Transmittal Memo (1 copy signed), this lists all the forms that came with our referral - child report, initial physical, medical summary, confidential background information (CBI) and photos. We have to sign to acknowledge that we received them all. We also needed copies of our birth certificates, and our marriage license, again!

After I filled it all out, I made Brian look it over to check for any mistakes. Then I called my Mom to come to read over the paperwork too! When all was good, we went to the notary and signed everything to be notarized. After that I made copies of everything! I wanted copies in case something got lost and I also wanted to keep a set of the paper work for Kathryn to see one day!

Then I made a mad dash to FedEx to have it all overnighted to Oregon. As I was filling out the address form, the woman asked if I was mailing anything good. I looked up and said, "Yes! I am mailing acceptance paper work for the baby girl we are adopting from South Korea!" She thought that it was really great and wished me and my family the best of luck with everything! She was so sweet!

As I walked back to the car I could not hide the smile on my face! Then I got into the car and sat down. As I turned the key to start the car, tears started to flow. I guess it was the let down from the stress of doing the forms all day. And every little thing that I receive or send is one step closer to bringing Kathryn home. I guess it was also tears of happiness to be one bit closer, to have everything more real!

If all the paperwork is in order, the papers should be FedEx'd to Korea on Friday. So, they will get them next week! Come on legals!

Fun Facts

2009-09-01T21:29:00.003-03:00

Just some neat things I have been thinking about since we got our referral call!

- The night before the call I made my Granadmom's famous Lemon Pound Cake to take to brunch with friends the next day. I haven't made the cake or even thought of the recipe in years! Kathryn is named after my Grandmom!

- The morning of the call I was headed out to meet friends that already have their babies home from Korea. I was going to get my "baby fix." Boy did I surprise them!

- My birthday is also on the 21st day of the month - hers March and mine May. And our birth months both start with 'M"!

- My brother's birthday is March 22, one day after Kathryn's. My brother has a daughter whose birthday is May 20, mine is one day after on May 21.

- Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of the day Brian and I got engaged

- I looked back at my blog and the day Kathryn was born I was out shopping for new running shoes with my Mom. I love that we were out together having a great time when Kathryn entered the world! (Well if you account for the 12 hour time difference, I was actually in bed asleep, but I am not counting that!)

- The referral phone call came at 10:32 am, I was born at 10:30 am

- Kathryn's paperwork describes her as having large, beautiful eyes. I cannot tell you how many people comment on my boys' big beautiful eyes!

- I cannot stop staring at her picture and got no sleep last night just thinking about my daughter! I have a daughter! I have 4 kids! I am so excited!!!!

It is amazing how true the things people say to comfort you during your wait really are. The months and months of waiting seem like nothing now. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. And it is true that once I saw her that I new she was right for us. So many things about her and her history fit perfectly into our family! Okay, now I am crying again.

This experience has been so emotionally draining and trying. And now I can add wonderful and rewarding to the adjectives! I long to hold her in my arms and wish more than anything that we could get on a plane right now to see her!

It's A Girl!!!

2009-08-31T17:04:00.008-03:00

After 1 year, 3 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days of officially waiting, we introduce Kathryn Julia YiSeul! Born March 21, 2009; she is 5 months, one week and 3 days old! She weighed in at 6.4 lbs! She is very healthy - an oh so cute! I am in love already! In May she was up to 11.6 lbs and 22.3 in.

I was getting ready to meet my friends for brunch when the call came in. My mom answered the phone and Brian Jr. yelled upstairs for me to pick up. I was not even thinking referral call because for some reason I thought that it was Sunday! My social worker was on the other line and immediately said that she had good news for me! I started crying and had to make her repeat everything all over again. I heard her the first time, the words just didn't compute!

I was at my friend Heather's when I got the e-mail! I was almost afraid to click on the attachment with the photo. I was so sure this was a dream and her photo would not be there! Crazy, I know!

Back in April and May I jumped whenever the phone rang. And this month, I have not even been thinking about the call coming for another few months! I was so-o-o surprised!

We hope to travel in about 3-4 months. I really, really hope she is home for Christmas! Also, these are newborn photos, we should be getting updated ones soon!

Two Boys in the Tub

2009-08-30T17:58:00.003-03:00

Since Brian is too "old" for baths anymore, just Sean and Justin had fun with bubbles! They made all kinds of faces and loved sticking bubbles all over themselves! Justin copied everything that Sean did. When Sean dunked his head, put his face in the water, put bubbles on his face, spit water, then so did Justin! Sean got annoyed and it was a good taste of his own medicine for when he does that to Brian!!!

Heave Ho!

2009-08-29T17:53:00.001-03:00

Justin pushed a chair from the dining room into the living room today. He pushed and shoved and grunted the whole way. I just let him go because I wanted to see what he was thinking. He pushed it all the way to in front of the TV and then stood up. Then he started dancing! I guess he was looking for a stage! Sean joined in on the dancing fun too!

Whiskers on Kittens...

2009-08-28T17:37:00.004-03:00

I was putting lotion on the boys today to get ready for the pool. I got Brian coated first and then moved onto Sean. I don't know if it was the light from the window, or he just sprouted hair overnight, but Sean's legs had so much more hair on them than Brian's. I said something to him about having hairy legs...

Sean - Yup, just like Daddy!
Brian - No! I have a lot of hair on my legs too!
(ooops...now I have to admit Brian is like his Dad too!)
Me - Yes, Brian, you have hair too like Dad.
Sean - Daddy has whiskers on his face too.
Brian - We will get them too when we get older.
Sean - Yea, just like mouses and cats.
Brian - He does not have whiskers like cats!
Sean - Well, Daddy's don't really grow that long!
(Brian and I laughing.)
Sean - Daddy's aren't long because he has a shaver!

Oh, this kid is too much! Does he really think Brian would look like a cat or mouse with long whiskers sticking out the side of his face if he didn't shave? So, the only thing that makes men and mice different are razors?

The T-Shirts Arrived!!!

2009-08-27T12:08:00.004-03:00

I am so excited! After many months of searching - I found the perfect shirts! I love that I could do a custom order, so that each kid had their own specific title embroidered on! Brian is biggest brother, Sean is bigger brother, Justin is big brother, and Kathryn will be little sister!

Lisa from Tattletale Designs was beyond wonderful! Her replies were quick and she showed me proofs before she made the shirts. I wanted a onsie in an 18 month size, and she even ordered one for me! The shirts are even better in person than I thought they would be. And the shipping was really quick too! Thanks again Lisa!

The Blue Tongue Boys

2009-08-26T12:08:00.003-03:00

My Mom took the boys to the pool today and returned them like this! No doubt they talked her into buying them some kind of blue candy! But that's what Grandmoms are for! Right?

The Laziest Dog Ever!

2009-08-25T12:07:00.003-03:00

I was cleaning up the kitchen this afternoon and Roc, as usual, came in with me. I was rinsing dishes in the sink to put them in the dishwasher. I started to open the dishwasher and told Roc to move, but he just looked at me. So, I lowered the door thinking that he would move. Nope! He stayed on the floor under the dishwasher door the whole time I loaded it, and when I went to get the camera! Crazy dog!

To the Zoo!

2009-08-24T12:07:00.004-03:00

The heat wave subsided a bit today, so we headed of to the Philadelphia Zoo! The boys all had a great time, and were very tired when we got home! Justin loved the monkeys and the prairie dogs! Sean's favorite was the hippos and Brian always loves the reptile house!

Justin on the carousel

butterfly that the boys chased
Brian
Seanthis gorilla was posing!

these monkeys are always like this when we go
Justin loved chasing the peacocksI couldn't resist capturing the smiling frogJustin was afraid of the statue!
the hippos!

Stunt Boy

2009-08-23T12:07:00.004-03:00

Justin has learned that falling down is funny. Ah, he has officially started his journey into manhood. People getting hurt is funny. He will soon roll off the couch onto the floor while watching other's home videos on TV. The ones where the kid hits the dad between the legs will have him so hysterical that it will almost make him pee.

Now we just need the bathroom humor to begin and he will be another step closer. I am so out numbered in this house!

on a mission...

falling on purpose
and another fall
Roc just watches..this is old news to him

Daddy Fun!

2009-08-22T12:07:00.003-03:00

The boys had fun until their Dad's arms and back gave out. It started as Sean and Justin jumping on him and wrestling with him. Then Sean wanted a ride on his Dad's back. So, Justin wanted on. Then Sean wanted to surf. So, Justin wanted to surf. Then Justin jumped off the side! That kid is going to be in some kind of extreme sport when he is older - no sense and no fear to me equal x-games!

Justin jumped about 20 times before his Dad collapsed to the ground. Then he cried for about ten minutes - "Daddy. Jump. Again. Please. Daddy. Justin jump! Now! Again! Daddy!!!"

No News....

2009-08-21T22:30:00.004-03:00

...isn't always good news! I called our adoption agency again today. There still hasn't been much progress, although one family ahead of us has been matched with a girl. I really hope it doesn't take 3-4 months for the next family to be matched with a girl. This wait is really getting difficult, and no one really knows how much longer we will be waiting....

Growling and Raspy

2009-08-20T22:44:00.001-03:00

I have no idea what has come over Justin. He now talks in this growling, raspy voice. He doesn't do it all the time, but it is so hard not to laugh when he does do it. And it is hard to understand what he is saying! I think it is his try at being funny. And he does get a good reaction out of his brothers - they get hysterical when he does it. I guess with an audience like that, he may keep this up for a while!

Happy 6th Birthday Sean!

2009-08-19T12:27:00.003-03:00

Sean got his presents today from family. He was so excited to get more Legos! He is really into the Power Miners right now! And he got to choose dinner - hamburgers with pickles and ketchup! And dessert - donuts from the local bakery. Yum!

I cannot believe my middle guy is 6! He is such a fun kid. He is smart and caring. He still screams - a lot! He screams when he is happy or sad. He screams when he is excited or scared. He pretty much screams all the time! He has been this was since he found his voice at a few months old. Speaking of old, the screaming is getting old. He is getting a little bit better. But there is definitely room for improvement!

The road from 5 to 6 has been a big year for Sean. He went to pre-school. He learned to ride a bike without training wheels. He lost 4 teeth! He learned to write his name and to recognize all the letters and numbers. He also knows all the sounds associated with the letters. He developed a love for learning and asks so many good questions.

Sean has a great love for animals and is so curious about every thing from ants to elephants. He is very stingy with his hugs and kisses, which makes them all that more special when he gives them out. He loves to be read to and to play video games. Sean has a great sense of humor and his antics have definitely made our lives - and this blog - more interesting!

Isn't It Ironic

2009-08-18T12:27:00.003-03:00

Okay, first let me start off by saying that I know it was a crazy thought to bring three boys to Target. At 11 am. Two weeks before school starts. To buy the things on their supply lists.

We got in the door fine, and then Justin wanted out of the cart. I don't let him when it is just the two of us, but Brian watches him. So, I took him out to end his whining. Well, we didn't even get past the check-outs and he wanted to push the cart. And not just help me, he wanted to do it all by himself. Head down. Mach 2 speed.

He knocked a few bags of chips off an end cap and then nearly took a woman out at the ankles. That was the last straw for me. Back in the cart he went. Apparently he did not want to be back in the cart. He proceeded to scream. Not just cry. The head all the way back like a Muppet scream. At the top of his lungs. Not stopping.

Being the seasoned Mom of three boys that I am, I just kept shopping. Hand sanitizer - check. Tissues - check. Shampoo - check. Justin is still screaming. And showing no signs of letting up. Now Sean is beginning to whine. He wants Pokemon cards. He needs more because he only has 567 at home. And who can live without one more Pikachu or Charizard? Whining is now crying. Getting louder. And louder.

Justin is still screaming. So much, in fact, that I stop being mad and now have to smile at his ridiculousness. Sean has resorted to trying to pull me back to the trading card isle. He is holding onto the card and pulling. Sliding along the floor in his shark flip-flops. The boys are in a competition for who can be the loudest. Not sure who is winning. People are beginning to stare.

I am now pushing a cart with a screaming toddler in it and pulling along a crying almost 6 year old. Then Brian starts. He says, "Mom. Mom. Mom." I look at him and say, "Brian, not now!" I am sure something he cannot live without has caught his eye. Today, he is persistent and again says, "Mom. Mom. M-o-o-o-m!" Blood pressure rising. In a public place. Keep cool. Push on.

Brian says again, "Mom!" This time I look at him. He starts again, "But Mom, there is someone behind us." He turns around, smiles, and waves. Heart stops. Breathing quickens. Who could it be? Help!

I plastered on my best fake smile and turned around. Only to see my mother-in-law standing before me and my chaos. Face smile getting harder to wear. Hope she didn't notice my shock. Who am I kidding?

She asks why Justin is so upset. I explain about the cart pushing and the lady he almost put on crutches. He sees his Grandmom and the crying stops. Sean stops crying too. Hmmmm. Maybe this was not too bad. Maybe they were a bit embarrassed by their behavior? Wishful thinking?

Then my sister-in-law walks up another isle. They were shopping together. My sister-in-law smiles. Her face reads understanding - she has six kids. 'Been there, done that' is exchanged between us without a word. I can always tell those that have kids when mine are acting up in a store. You get the shocked and horrified look from those without kids - or with only one kid, and the sympathetic smile from those that have a few.

Anyway, the rest of the shopping was pretty uneventful and we got all but two things on the lists! One stop on the way home and we had everything finished. Feels good to have that done! I will survive....

Chocolate Smiles

2009-08-17T14:33:00.003-03:00

Justin had a chocolate ice cream cone tonight. And, boy did he make a mess! When he finished and had chocolate from head to toe, he turned to me and said, "Cheese!" I guess he is so used to me taking pictures of him with a messy face that he knew what was coming next! He definitely gave me some cheesy smiles!

Ravens Camp!!!!

2009-08-16T11:18:00.003-03:00

Raven's camp was the best!!! And even though we were Eagles fans before Joe got drafted, Raven's camp beat the Eagles' by a mile, or more! It was so much easier to see the players, and we felt more like we were a part of practice than a nuisance. They boys and their friends all had a great time! I got to see a few of my college friends that I haven't seen in many months, so it was a great day for all!

We were on ESPN too! We were chosen out of the crowd to be in the background on Mort Goes to Camp! Unfortunately the segment we were in only aired once....my mother-in-law saw it though!

Joe left family passes at his hotel for us. So, we got to meet some of the players and the boys got a ton of autographs! Of course, the climax of the day was getting to see Joe after camp! He was great with the kids and signed footballs and took many pictures with the kids! Thanks Joe!

I took over 530 pictures that day! If you are glutton for punishment or just a huge Ravens fan, all the pictures are on this photo sharing site. There are many more of the players.

Justin is scared to death of Joe -

and Joe thinks it is funny!

the boys and friends with Joe
he literally caught this on his finger tips! Joe throwing a pass
the boys and friends in their Flacco jerseysBrian and his friends

posing for a picture cool sign
the Mort bus!

the youngest Raven's fan!

Good Friends

2009-08-15T12:16:00.004-03:00

We left the shore this morning and drove home. We packed up more stuff to make the drive to Maryland. We are staying with my friend Erika -she is friend from college and a sorority sister - and her husband Chris. I cannot believe we have known each other for about 19 years! Boy were our lives different then! We are making the trip to Maryland to go to Raven's camp tomorrow.

We got to Erika's right before dinner. After hanging out for a bit, we went to a huge BBQ festival. Beer gardens and ribs - who needs anything more? I had really great ribs and Brian had a crab dip that was really good too. Of course, the boys had hamburgers and chicken fingers! Then they did want to taste the ribs -and they liked them!

After the festival, we put the kids to bed and sat out back on Erika's patio. I haven't seen Erika for months and months. She had a baby in March and as much as I wanted to see little Henry before now, things just never worked out.

But the great thing about good friends is that no matter how long it has been, you seem to just pick up where you left off. I was as comfortable as I would have been if we lived closer and saw each other all the time. It is a really great feeling.

As we get older, both my friends' lives and my life get busier and busier. But we always seem to stay connected. Most of us have kids and our lives have changed a lot. We have fun times and lots of laughs together. We cherish the time when our schedules align and smile about memories when we are not together. I will always be there for them when needed, and I know they will be there for me. And that's what really counts.

Fun Times in OC!

2009-08-14T11:54:00.004-03:00

We traveled to Ocean City today to hang with friends. We didn't get there until late afternoon, so the kids played out back for a while. They had a baseball and a football catch and looked for crabs around the docks.

Then we ordered pizzas and the kids watched some TV. The adults sat on the deck overlooking the bay and took in the sunset with a few beers. It was so quiet and peaceful for a Friday night!

Then the kids got ready for bed and the drinking continued. Our friend had some sun burn on his face and his wife told him that cabbage would ease the pain. He was actually willing to pose for this picture.

Pool Party!

2009-08-12T21:59:00.002-03:00

Sean had his birthday party at the pool - again! I think this makes 3 years in a row that he has wanted his birthday party at the pool. All but one of his friends showed up, so he was very happy. The weather wasn't the greatest, but the kids don't mind swimming in the rain! Thank goodness their was no lightning!

Sean and his good friend Reilly

Lightning McQueen pinata
candy craziness Happy Birthday, Dear Sean...make a wish!

I can see clearly now...

2009-08-11T22:05:00.003-03:00

I went to the eye doctor today. Um, it has only been about 7 or 8 years since I was last there. I was told that when you are pregnant and right after you are pregnant that your vision can temporarily change because of all of the hormones in your system. And for the last 9+ years, I have been trying to get pregnant, pregnant, or nursing a baby.

I have noticed in the last few months that things are just not as clear and crisp as they once were. So, off to the doctor I went. Everything went well. And the funny part is that my prescription actually changed for the better! I have a very low prescription, and only really need my contacts for distance - I think my prescription is now -1.50, down from 2.00. I really thought my vision was getting worse, not better! Great news!

And with my contacts I am seeing 20/15 clearly and can read some on the 20/10 line too! The doctor laughed when I was upset that I couldn't read all of the 20/10 line. She said a lot of people don't even get 20/20 with contacts or glasses and that I should be really happy. Yep, that's me. Wondering why I cannot read the smallest of lines with my contacts in and not realizing that I have better than normal vision!

Proud or Guitly?

2009-08-10T14:23:00.004-03:00

I was downstairs with Justin and Brian and Sean went upstairs to play. I figured they were playing Legos in their room, as usual. After about 15 minutes, it seemed overly quiet. So, I ventured up the stairs to see what they had gotten into. I peeked in the their room. Empty. I walked back down the hall and opened the bathroom door. Two sets of wide eyes peered back at me in fear.

I found boys playing in a sink full of water with their Legos. There were Lego pieces everywhere and water all over the sink counter and floor. The front of their shirts and shorts were soaked. Now, I am not the kind of Mom that never lets my kids play in the sink. But, they do have to ask first and know it is not allowed all of the time. They are both afraid to speak as I stand there glaring with my hand on my hip. Sean finally musters up some courage...

Sean - Mom, we didn't lose any Legos down the drain!

I could not figure out if he had lost some Legos down the drain on a previous mission, and was strutting his proud peacock feathers in saying that he hadn't lost any this time. Or did he really lose them this time and make the juvenile mistake of trying to proclaim his innocence before anyone had even asked a question.

Out of Room!

2009-08-09T22:04:00.002-03:00

I never knew one could run out of room while blogging. Apparently there is a limit on the amount of photos that you can upload and store on your blog. When you pass the 1 GB that they allot for you, then you have to pay $20 a year. Or start deleting photos from your blog! Uggg!

Now, $20 a year is really not that much money, and you do get an additional 10GB of storage space. Considering that it took me about 2 1/2 years and 1071 posts to fill my 1 GB of free storage, I think I will be okay with the 10 GB for a while! And I take and upload a lot of photos!

Eagles Camp

2009-08-08T21:59:00.005-03:00

Eagles camps was so great, even though we had to get up at 5 am! The boys really enjoyed meeting some players and also the fun kid activities. They had moon bounces, police motorcycles and horses, an armored emergency response truck, games, prizes, and more! We didn't get to see too much of the practice, which was a bit disappointing. They were very strict about where you could and couldn't stand - and there were so many people there!

#18 Jeremy Maclin

#62 Max Jean-Gilles#81 Jason Avant
#36 Brian Westbrook
Sean petting a horse -
1/2 draft horse, 1/2 quarter horse Sean dressed as a fireman
Brian dressed as a fireman
Sean getting his ankle tapedBrian getting his ankle taped
Conor, Sean, and Brian

Steel Pier

2009-08-07T21:58:00.002-03:00

We went to Steel Pier in Atlantic City today. It was Holt Day (our adoption agency) - the kids got to ride for free! We saw lots of adoptive families and it was neat for the kids to witness that. They had so much fun on the rides, although Sean was a bit disappointed that he was too tall to go on some of the kiddie rides!

Blankie

2009-08-06T22:03:00.003-03:00

Sean is closing in on 6 years old, and still really attached to his Blankie. I really thought he would have left it behind by now, or at least in his bed. He has gotten a bit better and we don't allow him to bring it out of the house any more. Well, unless he is spending the night away from home.

In so many ways, Sean is so big, and in others he is just a little kid. He really finds comfort in Blankie when his tired, sad, or mad. It, or He as Sean refers to Blankie, can instantly calm Sean. Blankie has been repaired too many times to count. Had borders added and taken away. Had holes sewn and ripped pieces trimmed. As the weeks and months and years go by, Blankie has become more brown than yellow. But that just shows how much he is loved!

15 Months of Waiting - Ugggg!

2009-08-05T21:58:00.001-03:00

And that's all I have to say about that!

Another Call to Our Agency

2009-08-04T22:04:00.002-03:00

I broke down and called our agency today. Some days the wait is really hard, and it does help to talk to someone. Just to touch base. I know that no one knows when we will get our referral, but for some reason the calls make me feel better. It drives me crazy no being able to do anything but sit and wait.

One family ahead of us waiting for a girl "as healthy as possible" has been matched and is reviewing a file. So, if they accept the referral we will be one closer to getting our baby girl! We are literally taking baby steps forward!

Adoption Update

2009-08-03T21:57:00.001-03:00

We got our monthly e-mail from the adoption agency today. It did have some useful information about what will happen when we receive our travel call, too bad we don't even have a referral yet. Things are still moving slow, but I already knew that. If things had picked up we would have a picture of our baby right now! Trying so hard to be patient!

Extreme Bowling!!!

2009-08-02T21:57:00.003-03:00

Justin has taken bowling to a whole new level. He has become bored with rolling the little blue ball. Now he has made up a new game that we like to call extreme bowling. He sets up this pins in a straight line. Even after we have showed him many times how to set them up in a triangle shape, he still likes them in a line. Then he gets his wagon and crashes through the pins. And if he doesn't knock them all down on the first try, then he turns around for strike two!

He is so funny and so serious about it at the same time. He either counts to three and runs or says, 'get ready, go!" I have no idea where the 'get set' part went, I guess he is in too much of a hurry. This game fits in so well with his behaviour right now. He is a little demolition man and loves to destroy everything in his path.

The boys won't let him within ten feet of their Legos, and for good reason. I think is destruction goes beyond the usual trying to make sense of cause and effect. This kid just derives pure joy from watching things crumble to the ground. Maybe we have an explosives engineer in the making. Hide the dynamite!

setting up the pins

crash!
GO!

ordering his brothers around
Strike!

Car Show

2009-08-01T21:56:00.003-03:00

The big boys went to a car show today with friends at the Freehold Race Track. The boys got to see a lot of Corvettes, cars drag racing on the track, and monster trucks! They definitely liked the monster trucks the best. And Sean also liked the yellow cars! They had a great day, and experienced tons of male bonding!

Talking, Talking, And Talking!

2009-07-31T22:02:00.002-03:00

Justin continues to amaze me on a daily basis with is speaking! He is now putting 3-5 words together and some times 2-3 sentences together. He is using words on a daily basis that I had no idea he could say! And he has learned to tattle on his brothers, although he does not always tell the whole truth.

He will say, "Brian take Justin truck. No Mine!" But what he forgets to say is that he took it from Brian first!

Justin asks for things he wants and does a lot less pointing. His, and my, frustration levels have decreased a lot over the last few weeks. I can see the joy in his eyes when I acknowledge what he is trying so hard to communicate. He smiles and jumps up and down. So cute!

School Shopping!

2009-07-30T22:02:00.002-03:00

I ordered the boys' new backpacks today! Woo-Hoo! My excitement makes me think of that office supply store commercial where the mom is dancing down the isles. She is throwing school supplies into the cart while clicking her heals together. Two kids are dragging their feet along behind the cart with long faces.

It's not that I am in a hurry to get rid of my kids. I enjoy being home with them. But I think they are almost ready to be back at school. Maybe not the homework, but the structure and social settings are good for them. They miss seeing their friends all the time. They are ready for something new. I just have to get over the fact that I have a 3rd grader!

Only In Seed Form

2009-07-29T20:11:00.004-03:00

I am trying to get the boys to try some new foods this summer. Today was hummus. And not just ordinary hummus, home-made by me!

Sean - What is this?
Me - It's a dip for chips and veggies called hummus.
Sean - It smells bad.
Me - Well, it is not for smelling, it is for eating.
Sean - What is it made from?

I had to think about this. Chickpeas. Nope. If I mention anything with the word pea in it, I would be in trouble. So, since it does have tahini (which is made from sesame seeds).....

Me - It is made from sesame seeds. You love sesame bagels.
Sean - Well, I only like them in seed form.

Where does this kid get things from? I mean he is not even 6, and his reply to me is "only in seed form!" The wheels of his brain never stop moving. In fact his whole body never stops moving. I think he grinds his teeth in his sleep just so he can remain in motion!

Waiting is Hard

2009-07-28T16:38:00.000-03:00

Waiting is so hard, no matter what you are waiting for - especially when your heart is involved. The longing for a child is painful whether it is your 1st, or your 17th. But after experiencing the pain of infertility treatments, I think that the wait for the first is different. Not easier or harder or any less painful. Just different.

When you are waiting for you first there is always that thought in the back of your mind that it may never happen. You may never get to be a Mom. Your baby names will go forever unused. Your nursery will remain empty. That part of the hurt is missing while waiting to add another child - or two - to your family.

I went through infertility treatments for many years to conceive my boys. I now accept that it is the route I had to travel. It has not always been easy to stay on the path, but however painful, it is mine. The emotions are mine. The hurt is mine. The pain is mine.

I don't believe that I am a better person or mom or friend than anyone else. But going through what I did has made me better than I was before. I have more empathy and compassion for others. I see more joy in the little things. I definitely take more time to slow down and enjoy life. I don't take anything for granted. I am less quick to judge and jump to conclusions.

Even though there are some good things to be said about my experiences, the pain of infertility and loss didn't just disappear because I had children. Sometimes something someone says, or something I see triggers painful emotions. Many times I am completely taken by surprise. I think that I had all the cracks in the damn filled and then the dam suddenly bursts. The flood crashes in and opens my old wounds.

As if the struggle to get pregnant was not enough, I also had many miscarriages. The hardest was the loss of my youngest son's twin at 18 weeks. Even almost three years later I get choked up. It is a longing and pain for what might have been....

Anger and jealousy and frustration are emotions that definitely come to mind. I admit that I am really jealous of those with their referrals and babies home already. Just as I was jealous of those with big bellies and baby showers before. But I am still happy for them and have to realize that my time will come. Patience is a virtue, but so hard to acquire!

It is not that I cannot be happy for someone else's joy, because I can. It just hurts. Plain and simple. My heart aches for the baby we will get matched with, and for the ones that I lost. And I know that if the treatments had not been successful, that my heart would always ache for that loss. That will never change no matter how many children we have, whether biological or adopted.

Yes, the pain would be different if I never had a child. Really different. Maybe in some ways having children has lessened the pain of infertility and loss, but there is no way it has taken it away. Sometimes adoption seems easier and in some ways the treatments were easier.

With infertility, there is always the chance that things will not end with a baby. But the hands on part of it, made it seem easier at times. I was always doing something - meds, and shots, and ultra sounds, and doctor appts, and surgeries etc. With adoption I know there is a baby at the end, but all I can do is just sit back and wait. I have no control over when my call will come. I think that is what is so hard for me.

If someone had said during treatments that I would be pregnant in a certain month, I could have endured so much longer. Or maybe tried again. I thought adoption would bring that secure time line, and now we are 2+ months longer into the wait than the longest time we were quoted and that is the hardest part for me. Especially since my phone could ring tomorrow, or the call could be months and months from now.

I get upset when people believe that there is a distinction between those that choose to adopt and to not have or try for biological children and those that come to the decision after trying for or having biological children. All have the same desire to create, or add to their families. All are willing to reach out across thousands of miles to bring a child into their homes. All have a place in their heart that needs to be filled.

Our decision to adopt is not a second choice, nor was it an easy one. But it is one that we feel strongly about. I truly feel that the losses and treatments that I had to endure were a way of leading me to where I am now. And for that I am grateful. I cannot wait to get our referral call and see our daughter's face for the first time. I know everything I have experienced will make more sense to me then.

This post made me think of this quote - not sure who said it though."If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well. If it is worth having, it is worth waiting for. If it is worth attaining, it is worth fighting for. If it is worth experiencing, it is worth putting aside time for."

Baby Blue Jay

2009-07-27T20:09:00.001-03:00

Brian took this photo. The day before, he was bringing up the trash cans. One of the cans was laying on its side. He went to stand it up and heard something inside. He looked down to see a baby blue jay! It started squawking at him. He carried the can over near a bush and gently slid the bird out. The bird went crazy and was squawking even louder.

All of a sudden, the mother blue jay flew in and made a few close passes over Brian's head! Brian quickly moved away from the baby bird. He said the mother bird then swooped down, picked up the baby bird in her beak and flew off! I have never heard of birds picking up their babies!

Well, the next day he saw the baby bird up on the steps to our side door. He took a few pictures, put some water in a Frisbee, and made the bird freak out again. He heard the mother bird and then left for work. We have not seen the baby bird since!

Let the Dog In!

2009-07-26T14:26:00.000-03:00

At the beach house, there is a sliding door and a small deck off of the back of the house. Roc goes out clipped to a chain in the backyard. The chain allows him to make it up onto the deck but not all the way to the sliding door.

Roc barked from the deck and it was Sean's turn to let him in. So I said, "Sean please open the door and let the dog in." Sean walked over to the door and slid it open. He stood there and looked out the door and then looked at me. I again said (in not the same sweet tone as the first request), "Sean let the dog in." He looked at me with a serious face and said, "Mom, I can't let Roc in, he is stuck on the chain."

I was almost too stunned to speak. I guess I forgot to say Sean, go out onto the deck, unhook the dog from the chain, and then let him in the door! And the part that is not funny is that he was head serious. He was not being smart or fresh or sarcastic.

Beach Photo Shoot!

2009-07-25T16:49:00.000-03:00

Just tried to get one good picture of the three boys....so much harder than it sounds. A few turned out really well!

Ice Cream Sandwich!

2009-07-24T20:10:00.004-03:00

Justin was so excited to see the ice cream guy today! He was allowed to pick what he wanted from the pictures on the front. It took him a while, but he finally decided on an ice cream sandwich. The guy handed it to him and there was no containing his excitement. He had the biggest smile on his face and was literally jumping up and down with his ice cream!

I don't think he realized how quickly ice cream melts in the sun on the beach. He cried at first, but then went with the flow and just enjoyed his ice cream and all of its messiness!

"icee ceam"

uh-oh

what a face!

Yum!

I love it oozing between his fingers