The Pee Bottle

Okay, so there are definitely some advantages to having boys. I know there are some disadvantages too - but I always like to look at the positive side of things. One advantage is the ability of boys to pee just about anywhere. I keep the 'pee bottle' in the van at all, well almost all, times. It is just a Rubbermaid bottle with a screw on lid. When we are at the school or park or somewhere away from a bathroom, the boys can go in the van and take off the top and pee in the container.

'pee bottle'

It has saved us from wet pants countless times, and it makes me feel safer when we have a long drive. Then if there is no rest stop in sight, they don't have to get out of the van on the side of the highway. Sean enjoys it so much that he tries to use it before we leave the driveway or even when he is playing outside!

I draw the line at this and make him go inside to use the bathroom. I have to admit that Sean has tried to pee using the small hole in the top without unscrewing the big lid. Let's just say that it didn't turn out too well and that I am glad that nothing got permanently stuck. Yep, I'll just leave it at that and let you figure it out.

Today it was beautiful outside, about sixty degrees - which is not typical weather in New Jersey for January. So, after Brian got out of school, we stayed at the playground. This was to allow the boys get some energy out so that they didn't drive me crazy later, I mean to enjoy the fresh air. After about a half an hour, Sean was hopping up and down and squeezing his legs together because he had to go so badly. My friends watched Justin and Brian for me and I took Sean to the car.

I had a fleeting moment of panic because we couldn't find the pee bottle anywhere. By this time, I bet his kidneys hurt since - 1) he waited so long to tell me, and then 2) we had to run to the car, and then 3) we had to look for the pee bottle. I told him to look under the seats and in the back for a cup or a water bottle or something, anything! As my luck would have it, we both came up with nothing. Then I started to really panic. I wasn't sure if he would make it all the way home or long enough to run around to the front of the school, that is if someone was still in there.

To tell the truth, I really thought about letting him pee in the street next to my car. I didn't know what else to do. I know, not a good thing to teach him, but when a kid has to pee, he has to pee! As I was about to suggest it, the people who lived in the house we were parked next to came outside. So, that option was out. I even considered asking them to use their bathroom. I didn't know the family personally, but they did have kids in the school. After all, they were parents and had probably been in a similar situation before. Then I thought maybe I should try to take him home in hopes he could hold it a little longer.

I figured that the worse case scenario was that I try to get him home and he goes in the car seat on the way there. A car seat has to be one of the most difficult things to clean. I was already dreading having to get it out of the car and take it apart to wash it, and then I would have to put it all together again. After that, I would have to spend more time getting it secured back in the car again. Ugh! I wish I still had the piddle pad! It is a pad I used when he was potty training that absorbed wetness and protected his car seat. It even had a piece that came up between his legs to keep the strap from getting wet too.

Although, I would take washing some pee out of a car seat if I never had to clean vomit out of a car seat ever again! That has to be the worst thing ever! It gets in the straps and the buckles and clips. It seeps into cracks and crevices that you didn't even know existed. The smell just seems to linger, even when the cover has been washed five times. I wish that car seats were cheaper, because then I would probably just buy new ones when the kids got sick in the car.

I feel really bad for people who have young kids that get car sick. But with all that said, the biggest problem is not cleaning the car seat. It is that when you are out, the kid has no choice but to get back in the puke laden car seat. You can use all the wipes in you diaper bag and all the tissues in you car, but there will never be enough to clean up everything. And of course, the kid cannot ride without a car seat. Luckily, they are too young to remember you buckled them into a smelly gross car seat!

My mind was racing with thoughts of possible solutions, but no feasible ones came to mind. Then Sean said, "Mom I found something!" I breathed a sigh of relief. He had his back to me and his pants were down, so I couldn't see what he was talking about. I asked him what he had found and he turned around to show me. I almost couldn't believe it - he was peeing into one of his rain boots that had been under the back seat! Yes, he was peeing into a rain boot! It took a few minutes for my brain to catch up with my eyes. My kid was actually peeing into a rain boot, and he found nothing wrong with it! A blue rain boot with a shark on it to be exact! At first, all I could do was stare, and then it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

Unfortunately, the laughter was short lived. The shark boot was an old one that had cracks in it and also places where the sole was worn all the way through. So, as he peed into the boot, it ran out the bottom almost as fast as it went in. It spilled down onto his underwear and traveled onto his pants. It then trickled down his pant legs and into his shoes and socks. It finally came to rest on the floor of the van as it soaked the carpet! Ugh again!

There was really nothing I could do but watch the pee waterfall. At one time I thought about grabbing the boot, but I was afraid of what direction the pee would then fly around. I pictured every inch of the van being squirted by a human sprinkler. Knowing him, he would think that it was funny. So, I waited for him to finish and then helped him to take off his pants and shoes. By this time he was screaming and crying and I was afraid someone would think he was hurt - or worse that I was hurting him. I wrapped him in a blanket and buckled him in his car seat. I had an old grocery bag in the car and carefully wrapped the boot in it.

I went back to get Brian and Justin and gave my friends their laugh for the day! I just had to tell them what Sean had done. Most of them know Sean well enough not to be too surprised by things like this anymore. It is never a dull moment with Sean around. There is no way Brian would have ever peed in a boot - he would have held it until the pee began to leak from his eyes! I cannot wait to tell Sean's kids this story some day! Can you say payback?