Friday, July 11, 2008

Spots and Poop

I have to give a weak stomach warning to this post. Kids and poop mentioned a lot!

First the spots. Justin has a mean case of Roseola. Brian had it, Sean didn't. He ran a fever with no other symptoms for a few days and then came the spots. They seemed to be multiplying exponentially by the minute. He has them everywhere - ears, soles of the feet bottom, belly, neck, armpits, you name it. They look a little better today. If I didn't know better I would say that Sean sat on him and poked him with a red marker about 900,000 times. Poor guy, at least they don't bother him at all. Sean keeps telling people his brother has the chicken pops! What is it with kids saying chicken pops? And don't get me started on Valentimes Day!

Okay, now for the poop. If you have been reading for a while, then you know Sean is a bit of an exhibitionist. He will drop his drawers for no apparent reason and get laughs and more laughs. Well, come to think of it, maybe that is the reason. I see a Class Clown in our future. He has been a bit better about it lately, so I thought maybe we were putting the naked follies behind us. I guess I thought too soon.

Brian, Sean and their friends Z and K are all out back. Justin and his cousin Macie are sleeping. I glance out the window on my way through the kitchen and all is well. I run down to the basement to put a load of wash in and when I come back up to check on them I am almost frozen in disbelief. There is Sean, pants around his ankles in a weird somewhat squatting position. I have to go in for a closer look and then it hits me. Oh my gosh, he is pooping in the backyard. Like a dog. And the other boys are behind him staring at his butt and laughing.

I am beyond mortified. I open the kitchen window and tell Sean to get in here now! The older boys jump up like startled animals. I swear if they had been inside their heads would have hit the ceiling! Sean pulls up his pants and comes to me. He is walking like a sad puppy with its tail between its legs. He gets to me and says, "What?" while doing his best to look innocent. I ask what he was doing and he says, "K told me to do it!" I ask, "K told you to do what?" He is smiling at me and trying to look cute because he knows he is in trouble. After a minute he manages to barely squeak out, "Pooping in the yard..."

I get him cleaned up and a fresh pair of Sponge Bob underwear. Apparently no one taught him to use leaves at toilet paper. And then we have yet another talk about how our bodies are private. And about how people use the toilet and not the yard. And how, Yes, peeing on a tree when it is an emergency is different! He seems sorry for what he did and also seems to understand what we talked about. I make him stay inside for a while longer. He sits and longingly watches the other boys play from the window.

I am left with cleaning up his underwear and the backyard. And talking to the big boys about right and wrong. And how bodies are private. And asking Sean to do things that they know are wrong. I guess it was only natural that they would want to look. They are fascinated by all that goes on in a bathroom but from their angle never get to see the poop come out. And I guess you just have to be a school aged boy to think it was funny. I was never one of them, so I guess I will never understand. I am sure that is not the last of the surprises for me as a Mom of three boys.

At least it was outside, could have been worse, right?


T&W said...

Sorry, but that was sooo funny. I just love reading this blog. Kids say and do the most unimaginable things! I can see him giving you that sweet innocent look right now. "What mommy?"

JamieD said...

You're right, it could have been much worse . . .

Kathy V said...

THis story cracks me up. Although my mom always tells one about me peeing in the weeds so I know about this kind of stuff. My dad used to play softball and not all the fields came equipped with port-a-jons let alone bathrooms of any kind. When we traveled to the field, my mom would help me pee in the weeds and wipe up with wipes we carried with us. Whenver she tried to pull any weeds at home, for awhile I would pee on them first to ensure that I had a place to pee before she removed them. Great, Huh? So your story could have been worse. I tell you though, your kids are a real trip. Especially Sean.