Thursday, December 6, 2007

Brotherly Love

There are times when I think that Brian and Sean will never stop fighting - and then there are times when they get along so well that it is eerie! They had one of the 'get along' times tonight. It was so nice to see and I got a few pictures before Brian started yelling at me. I guess he didn't want his buddies to see him playing nicely with his little brother.

First of all, they were both occupying the same chair without trying to push the other overboard. Usually, they complain when they are sitting somewhere first and the other tries to sit too close. This involves screaming and yelling and trying to push or kick the other person off of the chair or couch. Sometimes, while trying to push the other off, they both go flying off the chair. Then it is an all out battle to be the first one back in the chair. And the whole time they are screaming and yelling at each other and me for help. And they wonder why they have bruises all over! It usually ends with someone getting hurt and me making them both sit on the floor.

I have learned not to take sides. If the fighting hasn't gotten too escalated, I tell them to find a way to work together or they will lose what they are doing. If they cannot agree on a TV show or a game to play, not my problem. I don't want to solve everything for them. And if they cannot compromise, then I take away the games or the TV. They know I mean business and usually compromise. Brian more than Sean because he understands the all or nothing principle, but Sean is getting there too. So, if they can't sit together nicely, then they can sit on the floor all day.

Brian doesn't mind sharing a seat with Roc, but Sean will even complain if the dog is on the couch with him. Roc doesn't even have to be touching him! Sean's solution is to go to the kitchen and get Roc a treat. He says, "Rocky, do you want a treat? Come here Roc!" And of course, Roc goes running to the kitchen. Sean then giggles all the way to the couch and he sits where the dog was. I guess Roc forgot to call seat save! He should try to tempt his brother with cookies or brownies. Hey, there is a saying about catching flies with honey!

The second miracle is that they were playing video games together with one Game Boy. In the pictures, Sean was watching Brian but before that Brian had been watching Sean. They were rooting each other on and giving helpful hints - without the other getting mad! They even agreed on which game to play - Mario Cart. I think part of the reason that they are sharing is that we cannot find one of the game boys. What a mixed blessing, because if we had two they would have been playing side by side. Well, probably not side by side because they would have to be on separate pieces of furniture. And they knew that it was share one Game Boy, or have none.

It is funny how siblings have such different rules for each other. Their motto is basically fight to the death at home but out on the playground it is protect my brother at all costs. For example, Brian has a pack of gum with two pieces left. He and his friend and Sean are all playing at our house- want to guess who gets the gum? If you picked Sean, then you are wrong.

On the other side - they are all on the playground and someone is giving out gum. Brian will make sure that Sean gets a piece too. Brian's teacher told me that when they went to the pumpkin farm that he asked the farmer if he could have a pumpkin for his brother too! That just melts my heart! And if I am out with one and not the other, they want to get things for the other. Sean gets lunch out more often because Brian is in school all day. He always wants to order something for Brian to have when he gets home.

Also, Brian and Sean can pinch and kick and roll around on the floor wrestling over a toy. But if either one of them is being hurt or bullied by another kid, they are there for each other. And that is what is important - being there when it really matters. I cannot wait to see how protective they are of Justin in a few years. I don't expect that they will never fight or have disagreements, but my wish is that they will always have each other to lean on. I hope that all three of them always have each other's backs and remember that since they are brothers, they will never be heavy!

Sean and Brian
into the game
I love the faces they make
concentrating

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