Yep, I have just nominated myself for a WMOTY, said wa-mott-y! The funny thing is with this award you mostly nominate yourself. What your haven't heard of a WMONTY? It is better known as Worst Mom Of The Year! I felt so bad yesterday. Let's just say it was one of those mornings. If you have to get out of the house in the morning you know what I am talking about - if you have to get kids out of the house in the morning then you really know what I am talking about.
The fun started after I finished nursing Justin and came down stairs to see the progress my husband had made with getting the kids ready for school . He has gotten really good making them breakfast and telling them to get dressed - making lunch needs some work. But I am grateful for the help, especially since I have to nurse the baby.
It was almost 8:00 am and we have to leave for school about 8:15. I remembered that it was library day and Brian didn't have his book! I had casually looked yesterday and just figured it would turn up - it usually does. Well, we searched the house for fifteen minutes and came up with nothing. My worst fear was that it had gotten mixed up with the newspapers and mistakenly put out with the recyclable trash. That trash was, of course, picked up yesterday.
I thought that this was really strange because I usually see it around during the week - on the ottoman, on the dining room table, in Brian's bed, on the steps, in the foyer - and I had no recollection of seeing it recently. I found a few things under the couch - a car, a pretzel, a fruit snack and a different book. But no library book. I told Brian I would look for it while he was in school.
At that time he realized that he had to go to school with no library book and the tears started. He said he didn't want to go to school and his belly hurt. Then his leg hurt and his head and anything else that might get him out of school. I told him he had to go to school and that he could get a new book next week. And the kids who forget their books still get to go to the library and browse, they just don't get to take one home. It's not like he has to sit in the corner with a dunce cap on!
I had to practically shove him into the car and by this time the tears had become all out sobbing. I had to buckle him - which he usually does himself - because he sat there and refused to buckle. I guess he figured that if he wasn't buckled that I couldn't drive him to school. He cried and yelled the whole way to school. I was yelling at him and quickly losing my patience. I told him that it was not my fault that he couldn't find his library book. He got a lecture about getting older and being responsible. He was told that, at times, I do know what I am talking about and when I tell him to put things away it is for a good reason - so he can find them later.
We park on the side of his school and he says he is not getting out of the car. Let's just say he finally decided that it was in his best interest to get out himself before I had to remove him from the car. Good move on his part. I had to practically drag him up the sidewalk crying and saying he didn't want to school. This was by far the most fun I have had in long time. A little sarcasim is always good. You know there were about twenty or so parents staring at us the whole time. And to make things even better, he kept saying, "I don't feel good. My belly hurts. Don't send me to school." Maybe they wold have nominated me for a WMOTY too!
So, of course every few feet I had to explain that he was upset because he couldn't find his library book and that he didn't feel good from crying the past fifteen minutes straight, not because he had an illness. Still, some looked at me like I was nuts and some gave understanding smiles. I tried not to make eye contact and keep all my concentration on Brian and keeping myself from losing control. I got him to the edge of the playground just in time for his class to start walking in. He refused to follow them in and walked over and held onto the fence. He kept saying that he wanted me to go in with him. I felt like one of those cartoon characters where the steam was coming out of my ears and my face was turning bright red.
All of the kids were in the building, and the teacher on yard duty came over and tried to talk him into coming into the building. No dice. I told he she could physically 'help' him in if she had to. I have to give permission before they can touch him at all. He resisted this too. The teacher finally asked me if I would walk him just to the door. I hesitated because I didn't want him to win but I didn't want to not help the teacher either. He was fine with this and walked into the building. The crying had now slowed down into a few short bursts of sniffling.
As I was walking back to my car, a couple of the moms I know were still outside talking. They had some sympathy for me and congratulated me on keeping my cool with Brian. It was hard, but I managed to keep calm at all times. One of the moms said that she couldn't find her son's library book either and that it was strange that she hadn't seen it lying around.
Then, by some miracle, we both came to the realization that both of our kids were sick for library last Wednesday. And coincidentally they both brought their library books from the week before back on Tuesday because they were finished with them. And then missed Wednesday for library, so no book! I felt so miserable. I usually laugh at myself when I forget things, but this was important and my short term memory loss had now hurt my kid!
Brian had been so upset and I felt so guilty for getting mad and lecturing him. Not that a little talk about responsibility will hurt him. I know the school doesn't normally allow parents to talk to students unless it is an emergency, but I had to try. I took off toward the front of the school to get buzzed in. I was almost in tears, Brian had such a tough morning - if I had only remembered that he was sick last week about an hour earlier!
The secretary buzzed me in, and I walked up to the office. The principal was in there too with her coat on. She asked what I needed. I explained what had happened and told her I just wanted to put Brian's mind at ease. He and his teacher would both have a better day. She said that she would get him the message, but I had to leave because they were going to have a fire drill. I felt upset again and wondered if they would really remember to tell him. Especially since they were getting the message minutes before a fire drill.
I left the building just as the alarm sounded. The lights in the building quickly went off and the children began filing out of the building. I saw Brian's class and when they got to their assigned location, I walked over to him. I am not sure if it was allowed or not, but I needed to speak to him. I crouched down and whispered in his ear that he was sick last Wednesday and that he did not forget his book or lose it. I said I was sorry that we didn't remember he was sick last week. A huge smile immediately covered his face. He looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from him. I fought back every urge to kiss and hug him. I know he doesn't like this in front of his friends, let alone the whole school. I whispered to my friend's little boy - he understood too!
Walking back to my car again, I saw the principal and she asked if I got to speak to Brian. I said yes and thanked her. I guess I won't be getting in trouble for breaking some fire drill rules! Driving home I felt so much better and knew that I wouldn't have to be at home worrying about Brian all day.
I got home to pick up Sean to take him to school. As soon as I get his coat out, he starts crying about not wanting to go to school! Ugh! I guess the mood of the morning rubbed off on him. He cried getting into the car but had stopped when we started driving. By the time we got to his school he was happy again and even ran into the building. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
I really feel so bad for Brian in these situations. He is such a rule follower and a people pleaser that it really upsets him and embarrasses him when he does something like lose his library book - even though he didn't really lose it. He is worried about letting the teacher down and being the only one without a library book. It is hard for me because on one side I want to shelter him and make it all better, but on the other side he does have to learn to be more responsible and be held accountable for his actions or lack of actions.
Being a mom is hard and involves some tough choices, especially as he gets older. As a parent, I know I have to start to let go and always coming to his rescue, but it is hard to let him fail in order to help him learn an important lesson. I have to remember that he is human and bad and good days will always fill his life. What is important are not the few scattered bad days, but that I raise a caring and responsible adult that will have a positive impact on society.
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