I really do think that my heart literally melted tonight. I am fighting a cold - which I cannot complain about because I think it has been years since I have had a fever! So, in the late afternoon I went up to bed to relax a little. It wasn't long before the boys were up there wondering what was wrong with Mom. You see, they are not sure what to make of Mom in bed during the day time. I probably messed with everything they know to be true and pure.
Their minds must have been so confused and conflicted. It looks like Mom. It talks like Mom. It smells like Mom. Yet, it is still and in bed. It is not loading the dishwasher. It is not correcting homework. It is not making dinner or lunches for the next day. It is not folding laundry. It is not putting us in time out. It is not cleaning up toys. It is not mopping the kitchen floor. It is not changing diapers. It is not filling out forms for school. It is not playing games with us. It is not shopping. It is not nursing the baby. It is not making a list for grocery shopping. It is not removing the empty snack bags and boxes that we left in the cabinets. It is not wiping up the juice we spilled, and left on the floor. It is not picking out our clothes for the next day. It is not putting the phones back on the chargers. It is not making play dates for us. It is not hanging up the clothes we left all over our bedroom floor. It is not picking things off the steps so that no one trips in the middle of the night. It is not dusting or vacuuming or sweeping.
They came up one time and decided to steal my TV remote and put on kids shows. For some reason they think it is particularly funny to steal the remote - I guess it is some kind of power trip for them. So, I let them put their shows on, partially because I didn't care and the other part because I knew they would get in bed and snuggle with me. And after fighting about who would be next to me, they snuggled right in. I was in luck, Pokémon was on.
You might think that this is funny but I have not seen too many Pokémon cartoons and almost anything is better that the Sponge Bob one I have seen too many times to count. I think the people who make cartoons have some kind of sick joke going on - let's only make a few new episodes and drive the parents crazy. Or maybe it is the network because they play the same shows three times a day. I swear that every time they turn on the TV that the same cartoon is on!
Okay, so the boys are cuddled up tightly - Brian is next to me and Sean on the end. I was a little chilly from running a low grade fever but the boys quickly changed that. They seem to have some kind of built in heating systems. Even when it is freezing outside, they can be in a full sweat. I guess that is why they can play outside until their lips are so blue and frozen that they can no longer tell you that they aren't cold!
Brian and Sean are watching TV and I was checking e-mail. Then without warning Brian put his head on my arm and started stroking it gently with his hand. I froze for a minute and held my breath. I did not want to move a muscle or make a sound because this sort of affection is rarely displayed by him. Don't get me wrong, he does accept hugs from time to time and sometimes even does so without a sour face. There are other times that he doesn't wipe off kisses in disgust too! And he does kiss and hug me before bed each night.
But this was different. This was initiated by him. This required no bedtime ritual. This was so wonderful. As I sat there still and quiet, my heart began to melt. I felt such a rush of pride and joy. This was my kid, my son, my baby. A comforting warmth overcame my whole body and I felt like the luckiest person in the world. I closed my eyes and concentrated on how much I loved him.
He continued to gently rub up and down my arm for some time. He was so engrossed in the TV that I am not sure he was aware of what he was doing. But I didn't mind at all. At times he stopped and gave my arm a loving squeeze. It was so sweet and something I will always remember. It brought a smile to my face because he has loved rubbing my skin since he was a baby. When he nursed he liked to rub my back as his hand reached around under my arm. As a toddler, he would climb up onto my lap and find whatever bare skin that he could. He even liked to push up my shirt sleeves to get to my arms.
So, not only was it such a wonderful show of affection, it was a great trip down memory lane. And it proved that as much as he is growing and changing, he still needs and wants to be close to his Mom. And that is something I will try to remember when he is a rebellious teenager! I love you Brian!
No comments:
Post a Comment