Let me start by saying we have a dog that is a licker. He likes to lick people, but only if you are one of the family. He, of course, also licks himself... but we won't go into that one. He won't lick strangers - well, he will sometimes lick a strange baby or toddler but they probably have some hidden leftovers stuck to them or their clothing. Roc especially likes to lick Brian Sr. - I am not sure if he really tastes that much better or it is because he allows it more than the rest of us.
Sometimes, when Brian is sitting down, Roc will jump up on Brian and place one paw on each of his shoulders - to keep him from squirming. Then he proceeds to cover his whole face in dog slobber. I am not sure Brian can breathe while he is doing this. Not for me! Have you ever seen the slimy film left behind in the bottom of a dog's bowl or on a plate that they lick! Yuck!
I can be at the stove cooking dinner and as Roc walks by he has to take a little taste of my leg! He will walk by someone sitting on the couch and out goes the tongue. Even little Justin is not safe, especially since he spends most of his time on the floor! We tell the boys that Roc is giving them kisses! They don't feel the same way.
Then there is Sean. He has recently started licking the baby. I am not sure why. But he thinks it is incredibly funny. Either that or he likes to hear me say, "Stop licking the baby!" I never thought I would say that to one of my kids - the dog yes, but not the kids. Justin doesn't seem to mind, so I guess no harm done. I really wonder what goes through that boy's head sometimes. I say that Sean doesn't just march to the beat of his own drummer - I think there is a tuba or trombone playing for him.
Brian also licks from time to time. It is the age old trick that siblings have to claim and mark their territory. I should just be glad they don't copy the dog on this one and pee all over things! If Brian has something, especially food, that Sean wants he will lick it to try to keep Sean from eating it. The problem is that Sean doesn't care. We are talking about the kid that will eat PB&J full of sand -extra crunchy, fruit snacks with a little mulch for added fiber, and a Mike-N-Ike from last Halloween found in the cracks of a car seat. So, I don't know why Brian thinks a little saliva will stop him! What's a little spit between brothers?
The problem is that Sean has caught on to the fact that Brian won't eat or touch stuff that he licks! This makes Brian very angry. Hey, you win some you lose some! Brian is getting to the age where other people gross him out. He cannot stand to smell diapers or the bathroom after Sean has been in there for a while. He doesn't like baby spit-up or drool. He won't even carry Justin's dirty diaper to the trash.
Justin is by far the worst offender. He is not picky - he will lick anything that comes anywhere near his mouth. He doesn't care what it is - the dog, a toy, a family member, his feet - take your pick! It is funny when he gets something in his mouth and he doesn't like how it tastes. He makes a funny face and turns his head away. If it is a really awful taste he will shudder like it is painful! I remember Brian was that way with squash - who can blame him? He made a face and shuddered the first time he ate it - so you know I had to do it again to show Dad when he got home. Once more for Grandmom and just so we wouldn't forget - once for the video camera! What fun are kids if you can't have a little fun with them!
Brian Sr. also gets into the licking. He tries to torment the boys by licking them when they are wrestling. This grosses them out and they get off of him. Weird,but obviously effective -whatever works for him. I guess he learned it as a survival tactic while growing up - he had five older brothers beating him up who were probably grossed out by licking too.
So, that leaves me. My name is Kim and I am a licker too. The only difference is that I do not directly lick people. I use saliva to clean - much like a mother dog or cat or almost any mammal! A little chocolate on the cheek - just lick my finger and wah-la...mother nature's cleanser! Some boogers dried on a cheek - just lick the tissue and they amazingly disappear! It works great for hair fly-aways too! Just a little on your finger and the class pictures turn out perfect!
Brian Sr. has nightmares about his Mom licking a tissue and cleaning his face. He claims that he went around the rest of the day smelling spit. Not sure if spit really smells - but it is his memory! He actually turns away and yells at me when I lick the kids to clean them. I hope my licking doesn't give my kids nightmares - but at least their Dad can sympathize with them.
Even if you don't have kids - or pets, you know you lick. Just admit it - you will feel better. Maybe a little ice cream on the side of your lips - or a little scratch that is bleeding on your finger. Okay - here is the perfect one - I've got you all now - envelopes and stamps! Well, if you are not too young that is - all envelopes and stamps used to require licking. It has been a while since I licked a stamp but my envelopes still require it! Then there is always the butter off your fingers or the icing off a doughnut...I could go on forever!
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