Part One of too many to count! This is really, really bad. Not for the wimpy, uh, I mean easily nauseated. I was doing wash today and pulled a yellow shirt out of the laundry basket. I wore this yellow shirt all day last Friday. I know, I know - I told you I didn't like to do wash! I took Brian to school in it, babysat Macie all day, went to the playground after school, and to the store that night. I have no idea when it happened. Do you think one person might have mentioned it too me? It was just under the bust line. The kind of bust line that I only have because I am breast feeding, so I had an obstructed view...the cheap seats!
There it was plain as day - baby poop. Bright yellow, turned brown around the edges now, and streaked from the edge of my armpit to under my boobs! Great, just great! I can only hope that no one noticed it, but the fact is they were probably just trying to be polite. There is a pattern here for me and my shirts lately.
A while ago, I was in the grocery store - by myself which is a miracle in itself. I was taking my time leisurely browsing the isles and thought I smelled baby spit-up. I checked my right shoulder - safe! I glanced over my left shoulder and sure enough - there was a big blob of white, curdled, milky spit on my shoulder. I reached over and pulled my shirt only to see that it also trailed half way down my back. Thanks Justin! Do you think my husband might of noticed this as I walked out the door? No-o-o-!
Of course, I had my purse with me and not the diaper bag - so no wipes. Oh well. I tired to cheer myself up - I might be smelly and covered in spit-up but I am at the grocery store by myself! I am standing there trying to pick the perfect bunch of bananas - not too small or too big, not too ripe, no brown spots or bruises, when I hear a voice behind me.
A kind faced woman hands me a few baby wipes and points to my shoulder with an understanding smile. I love it when my faith is renewed in the human race - well at least in Moms anyway! I say, "Thank you so much. I realized this after it was too late and had nothing with me. I wasn't going home because one of the kids might have decided that they wanted to go grocery shopping by then!" She says, " No problem. I understand. Moms must stick together!" Yea for Moms! Thank you again kind lady!
I am way off topic here but that brings me to another favorite movie, Pay It Forward. I just love the whole concept of the idea. Can you imagine if every person in the world did something nice or went out of their way to help someone...what a place it would be? I have to say thanks to the older woman who walked my cart back to the cart return when I was nine months pregnant. To all those who have let me pull out into traffic. To the girl who let me go ahead of her in line when I had three screaming kids. I know there are more random and selfless acts of kindness out there - so thank you to those who have touched my life! My heart is forever warmed.
Okay, back to the messy shirts. Well, back to shirts anyway. I have never told anyone this and have kept it a secret for a whole two months! It was on July 5th - I know this because it was Justin's two month well visit. As usual, we were late getting out of the house - someone always has to go potty, find a shoe, get a water bottle, pick a toy to bring, spit up on themselves or me, pick a fight and/or grab a snack. There are many more things that trip us up, but you get the idea!
So, there I am at the doctors with the three boys. I have friendly banter with the receptionist and we take our seats. Justin is a little fussy - I told Brian not to tell him about the shots! So, I take him out of the car seat and walk around with him. Brian has to go potty. Then because Brian had to go, Sean has to go! He gets in the bathroom and decides that he again has to be like Brian and go by himself. I am all for fostering a little independence, but don't worry I stood outside the door with my foot keeping it cracked so he couldn't lock me out. Motherhood is like chess - you have to try your best to think ten moves ahead or check-mate and game over!
Sean goes and everything is fine. He washes his hands and walks out. No flush. I go in and flush for him while thinking to myself thank goodness he didn't have to poop. Because I know that is when they would have called our name and also I would have had a really hard time wiping him while holding Justin. So, I am lost in thought and glance up at the mirror. Hair, not perfect but acceptable while out with three kids. Shirt - no stains or spit on the front, good. Slight half turn to the right to check the back. AHHH! Stop and do a silent scream. (Picture the famous Home Alone scream!) My hair is in a pony tail and there staring back at me is the tag to my shirt!
My shirt is on inside out! I walk out of the bathroom and grab the boys and the carrier. We go back in the bathroom and I shut the door. I put Justin in his car seat, turn my shirt right side out and get it back on in record time. And Sean didn't even have time to get bored and open the door - which would have been exactly when my shirt was up over my head and a Dad was walking by with his son who was wearing the look that said he was too old to be at pediatrician! I have great practice with getting dressed in strange ways.
I don't know why, but in junior high at sleepovers we used to think it was fun to demonstrate taking our bra off without taking off our shirts and then getting it back on too - same can be done with underwear and shorts- if you are really good pants too! Wow - quick shirt changes have more use that the locker room! I guess all I ever needed to know I didn't learn just in Kindergarten!
At least I looked presentable for the doctor. Who knows what he would have written in his chart! It is definitely messy and unpredictable being a mom. I have learned to roll with the punches and find humor in things that I didn't even know existed. Let's hear it for the moms!
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